Lion’s Choice Redux

Lion's Choice
6030 S Lindbergh Blvd
 St. Louis, MO 63123
https://lionschoice.com/

Back in the innocent, halcyon days of 2011, my wife, Angel, my youngest son and myself ventured out on a bold experiment. Who makes the better roast beef fast food sandwich? The powerhouse chain, Arby’s or the regional favorite, Lion’s Choice.

Original post here.

The results were disappointing.  Lion’s Choice failed to stand out in any measure.

I like the underdog, the little guy bucking the massive commercial chains, the artisans vs. the profiteers. So much so that I proudly admit that even though I always vote, I’ve never voted for the winner in a presidential election. I am all about the underdog.

This post was the most read and most reviled of all our 300+ reviews, ever. The comments were intense, many were blocked due to language and basic civility concerns. I allowed many to be posted, none, absolutely none, supported my reasonable conclusions. Several of those that I blocked violated many moral and perhaps even legal codes of reasonable taste, many describing anatomically impossible deeds.

However, I found out recently that management at LC had, at the top, changed since then by an aggressive CEO that wanted to march in and 'fix the problems'.

Bully for that! Time for a re-evaluation.

Confession, I have not been back to the Lion since that 2011 review.

The Place: I informed the family that we would give the Lion another chance. They were tepidly receptive as they usually are about my inspired suggestions.

So Friday evening, on my way home from work, instead of the 270 NB exit I usually take off of I-55, I took the next, Lindbergh exit. ‘Lindbergh’ is a St. Louis hallmark. The street is named for legendary alleged communist, Charles Lindbergh, as many things here are, communist or otherwise. He flew to France once, which at the time was apparently harder than it is now. (I really need a better research staff since I’m pretty sure there is a little more to this whole Lindbergh story)

I pulled in to the uninteresting parking lot and parked my new car, Red Rover, that Angel can do nothing but make fun of for its diminutive, yet perfectly practical profile.

Inside the moderately tidy restaurant, I was greeted by Greg, a young man certainly younger than half of my sock wardrobe. Professional and efficient though, he repeated my order back to me without error. Kudos Greg!

3 Standard roast beef sandwiches with cheddar cheese, one each French dip, ham and pulled pork sandwiches and a cup of chili plus three orders of fries.  $34.75.

The Food: I waited, per Greg’s explicit instructions. No more than 5-7 minutes though.

I curled up the bag tops to keep in the warm and drove home the final 35- 40 minutes of my miserable daily commute.

I decided to say nothing to the family about my half roast beef sandwich and thirteen fries dinner (all I can handle in a single sitting, long story.)

Angel picked out another flagship roast beef, full order, because she burns a lot more calories 24/7 than I do. All good so far.

For the many years that this modest blog was most active, Angel was the constant voice of reason and forgiveness. Rarely critical, never harsh or acidic. However, with this meal she was anything but kind.  She tried the au jus (Gesundheit!!)  “It’s just bouillon.” She proclaimed. “There is no actual taste to the meat.” She violently screamed later. “The fries are limp, under-cooked and did not travel at all well.”

Then she tasted the chili. You don’t want to know.

There were 4 ½ sandwiches, bought and paid for, remaining. “I’ll just have some soup tomorrow.” was the final, cutting, fatal, verdict from my charming, sweet wife.

My son, Adam, got home from work a bit later. He reheated the pulled pork and some fries.

I said nothing, waited.

When wiping the last crumbs from his face, I asked “Well?”

“Meh, it was fine.” Which is millennial speak for “ I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but as a meal it was barely adequate.”

Damning, to say the least.

Yes, I had my own opinion, but I did not want to drive or even influence the opinions of my beloved family. They spoke candidly and spontaneously. Unlike me, they had not revisited the 8+year old post.

Yet what they said now was not at all different than what they said back then.

Unremarkable at best, forgettable, and uninteresting.

“If I was hungry, even for roast beef, I think I’d drive right past Lion’s Choice.” Adam said. “Not awful, just not very good.”
That’s it. I stand by my ancient criticisms. Nothing has really changed. In 8 years and a complete change in top management. The fries are still limp and under-cooked, the beef/cheese is simply too salty to tasteless.  The tidiness in the storefront was less tidy, the service was pretty good though.

Saturday.

Angel picks lunch. She’s not one to waste food or opinion. The rest of the French dip sandwich, added a lot of horseradish and pulls her homemade beef/veggie soup from the fridge. Dips and soaks the  sandwich accordingly. “Well, that at least made it edible.”

I’m not making this up. Angel is NOT a food snob. She likes the nicer places as well as the bastard food obscenities known as McDonald's and Taco Bell, two places I will never, without extreme duress and coercion, even consider a place I want to eat. But the strength of her disdain for the Lion’s Choice menu is at the same time, shocking, telling and bewildering. She is very open to referring to Taco Bell fare as actual tacos, but these sandwiches from LC being even okay?  No.

My opinion?

I had a homemade sausage biscuit for breakfast. Even with all that meat in the fridge. . . . Unimpressed, unsatisfied, un-tempted.

Sorry folks, Arby’s* may indeed be fake, processed beef*, but the hometown rival, Lion’s Choice, even with its ‘fresh’ claims, is not very good where it counts most, taste. They boast, curiously, about not salting the fries, but overwhelm the otherwise lackluster beef/cheese with saltiness. To me, not worth the time or effort  to pull into their driveway.

I’d seriously rather have a fish sandwich from McD’s.
Adam has a flagship roast beef sandwich for lunch. “Too salty. At first not bad, but near halfway, I’m overwhelmed by the saltiness.”

I’m paraphrasing, but not exaggerating. 8 years, no change.

Arby’s may be a processed food chain but perhaps there’s a reason they have thousands of locations and LC has fewer than 30 after 40 years.

I had the chili.

I’m always looking for a good chili source. . . . I’m still  looking. . . Not awful, just not much better than that canned crap I keep on hand for emergencies. I already had a little left of a batch of home made, so I just dumped the rest of the Lion's chili into that. Better than wasting it.

Summary: Why do I hate this place? I honestly don’t. I wholeheartedly support local ownership and the entrepreneurial spirit. I want them to shine, I want them to be exceptional. They just aren’t. LC was set up to be a fast-food competitor, not a fine dining establishment. Some locally owned businesses, for example, Gordon’s Stoplight, an old-style burger diner in Festus,  makes a far better burger than the big chains and excels at local success. I’ll have a burger there long before I’ll consider going to McDs or the King or any of the other franchise burger places. It’s just that much better. Cheaper?  I honestly never checked on that. If I want a burger, Gordon’s is the first place that pops to mind.
Roast beef sandwiches? I admit that this craving doesn’t come along often, but it does happen. When I worked downtown, LC was nearby. That’s where my teammates wanted to go, so I went. It’s not awful, at all. For a once every other month lunch, sure, fine.

LC set itself up to directly compete with the fast food joints. In the roast beef category, it is going head to head with Arby’s. I didn’t make that as a rule, this is the obvious business model. Everything about LC screams fast food joint. It looks like a fast food joint, from the buildings to the ordering counter to the drink fountains and condiment dispensers to the price points. Indisputably,  LC wants to go head to head with Arby’s.
But unfortunately, the Lion brings nothing tangibly superior to the fight.  Sure, we can talk about ‘processed beef’ rather than ‘sliced to order beef’ but all of that is invisible to the hungry customer.
I want a roast beef sandwich and some fries. I am obviously not concerned at this moment with caloric purity or artisan technique. “Is yours more satisfying than theirs?” Is what I am asking.
I’m sorry St. Louis, as much as I’d love to extol the superiority of Lion’s Choice over its obvious corporate competitor, it just doesn’t deliver anything approaching a knockout blow.

If you want to be an Americanized Chinese restaurant, you only have to be a little better than Panda Express . Not exactly a high bar.

If you want to be a successful breakfast joint, Waffle House and Denny’s are your competition, bring me something better.

Burger joint? McDonalds / Burger King. Still a pretty low bar. Pizza? Pizza Hut or Dominos. Seriously low bar. If you want to champion the fast food style roast beef sandwich market?

Come on Lion’s Choice, you can easily do better.

Sunday night.
We finally tossed out the remaining sandwich.

* "processed beef." By spicing, cooking and slicing the beef, Food Lion sandwiches are also 'processed'.
* "Arby's"  I do not work for Arby's as was accused by some of the comments to the original post. In fact, I rarely, if ever, go there. I can't recall going there in at least a few years. . .