Colton's Steak House

2020 E. Independence St.
Springfield, MO 65804
Web site

Adam suggested this place, we quickly agreed. We've been there before, once. Since our last visit, which as best as we remembered, a good experience, it was actually recommended as a place we should try by my lovely, hardworking daughter. She's been a resident of Springfield for a few years. 
So we piled in to our trusty, low mileage Sonata and headed out, aiming toward furniture row on the south side of the Queen City of the Ozarks. 
The parking lot was large, but crowded, a popular place to be sure. Entering, there were several people in line. The din of the customers was palpable. The place had an obvious, but not over the top western theme, saddles, boots, paintings of horses and cowboys.. . Mostly it was dimly lit. Not exactly a romantic atmosphere but not as bawdy or raucous as your typical

Texas Roadhouse. 
We were escorted to a booth right away, the front desk seemed to be in firm control of the Saturday evening rush.  April, our designated server, asked about drinks. Angel and Adam asked for their usual, I went out on a limb, again.
Confession: I'm not a beer guy. Even when I worked at Anheuser Busch and was receiving a free case of beer each month, several bottles of the stuff were never consumed. I know guys, mostly guys, that can drink beer all afternoon, every day, I'm just not that guy. I do enjoy a GOOD beer though, occasionally, with a good meal. "Blue Moon IPA on draft" I demanded. 

April disappeared for a few moments then reappeared with the drinks, except for my beer. She did set a mug of water in front of me, which I appreciated. I learned that this is typical in somewhat fancy places, maybe a union thing, the beer would be delivered separately, by a minion from the bar.
During the 15 minute drive I asked my dinner companions what they might like. "We'll see, maybe a steak of some kind." came the answer with "What about you?" added on. "I'm not sure."  I tried to convince them that I was open to a wide variety of options. "Probably fish and chips again." came a snide remark from the back seat.  True, as best as I could recall, that was what I had the last time, and pretty much my go-to for any new place we try. This is a thing that started during our 2022 trip to Iceland.  There's a wide variety of  oddball meal options in Iceland, there were things I wanted to try and several things I had no intention of ever trying. So when we ended up in a Ring Road near-or-attached-to our hotel restaurant, fish and chips was almost always a safe and available option. Iceland is closer to the UK than it is to the U.S. so the customs and cuisine are more British/Irish than American. I do love, love, love the Icelandic hotdogs though. . . .trust me on this.
When April took our orders, and it came to my turn, I hesitated. All eyes were on me.
"I'll have (mental drumroll for dramatic effect) the fish and chips please."
Snickers all around. April picked up on it. "I take it that this was not entirely unexpected."
She scurried off. I took a few moments to sip my Blue Moon, and scanned the place.. Lots of staff people, walking briskly, sometimes carrying food or drinks or empty handed . . .there seemed to be a lot of people on the front of the house staff, LOTS of them, all bustling about. 
I tried to calculate the staff to table ratio. it seemed very close to 1:1.  Plenty of staff, busy, quick, but unhurried, much like an airport, hustle and bustle that SEEMED chaotic, but was somehow well orchestrated. 

The food arrived after a few minutes. It was gorgeous. I asked April for malt vinegar, but aside from that all our needs were met. I tried the coleslaw first, because I KNEW the fish would be lava-hot. I did break open a couple of the three fillets though to let the trapped, searing steam out. The coleslaw was of the creamy style as opposed to vinegar. There was also a sweetness from the  apples that they had mixed in. 
The 'chips' or as normal people call them, fries, were thick, very think, and not quite crispy. I would prefer that they be thinner and crispier but that's pretty much an American burger and fry thing. Not a UK inspired fish and chip thing. I'll allow it.
The fish itself was very good. In lots of places the breading slides right off, leaving a pile of breading and several fistfuls of flaky, unmanageable meat. Not here though. It must be a technique thing The breading added a satisfying crunch and the innards, the cod, was thick and fresh. I was only able to finish about half of that which was served, which is fine, they make take-away boxes just for this sort of first-world problem. Four or five minutes in the trusty air fryer and voila! Lunch.
Angel ordered the steak (medium) and shrimp plate with a side salad and a baked potato. 

The seasoned grilled shrimp rested on a base of plain rice, for no particular reason other than presentation. It certainly wasn't necessary for the meal since it abutted a fair-sized baked potato. The shrimp was seasoned, lightly, with branded Colton's seasoning rub. A small jar of which was on the table. Similar to seasoned salt and just shy of Old Bay in flavor. There was also a bottle of Colton's Steak Sauce that was eerily similar to A1 Sauce. 
I have a standard response when I order a steak and the server asks if I want steak sauce: "Not if you cooked it right."
I mean, how hard can it be to make a good steak? Butter, salt and pepper, don't overcook it. Bing, done. Steak, cooked medium or medium rare, brings plenty of taste on its own. If i ever eat a steak in front of you and I ask for steak sauce, too late, I'm already disappointed.

Summary: All was very, very  good. April stopped by three or four times to check on our satisfaction and to top off Angel's tea and Adam's soda pop. Angel had finished most of her side salad, then had one of the complimentary rolls, even though she had earlier said that these warm, slightly yeasty carb-bombs would be too filling. She pretty much swallowed the steak whole and completely eviscerated the potato, leaving only the skin shell. There was no visible trace of the shrimp.  A thing you might want to know about my darling wife: Angel is, by every measure, a carnivore. She frequently snacks on 'meat cookies'. Leftover chicken steak or pork chops found in the chill chest. She doesn't even bother nuking them first. Frankly, it is kind of scary. Like a primitive mammal, gnawing away down to the bone.
I asked for opinions on the drive home. The answers ranged from "pretty good" to  "very good"  Would we be going back? Hell yeah!
If you are anywhere near any of their 35 locations and this restaurant is NOT recommended to you, then you need to find a wider circle of acquaintances. Top notch service, great dishes in a comfortable atmosphere. 

Amazin Buffet

 2501 S Campbell Ave.
 Springfield, MO 65807


Yeah, I spelled it correctly. 
I thought I'd start this blog re-launch with a place I already knew would not disappoint. I was reminded that one of the reasons I stopped writing these near-weekly reviews was that "we" were growing tired of lousy food. 
    Speaking of the relaunch, I decided to NOT fall back into some of my old habits, some of which included 'embellishing' remarks made by certain others in my exploration of eateries. Therefore I made a promise to my co-eaters, Angel, my beloved and quite tolerant wife, and Adam, our adult son, a young man of very few actual words.  He knows words, lots of them, he just doesn't use them very often.  The promise was to not cite quotes from them that were embellished or maybe to even not quote them at all. Whereas before, I involved them quite heavily.  I assured them that with this new and improved style they need not be concerned with the blog at all, just enjoy the meal and the time together. Personally, I think that was very generous of me. 
So I won't be including ANYTHING they actually said, at least this time, it was all "off the record."

I kept this entry rather short, I'm a bit rusty, I promise that future posts will be even more unnecessarily wordy. In the meantime, feel free to glide some of the older posts tell me what you think, if you dare.

Summary:

It's a buffet, all you can eat. Typical Americanized Chinese fare. Including a sushi line, for those of you that like that sort of thing, and a Hibachi line for those people that like to pick out raw ingredients and have some 'chef' prepare it for them while they watch.
The buffet lines, four or five of them, have all the beefs, porks, and many, many chicken options, rice, noodles and even seafood, that you might expect and even crave, fixed the way you  expect for them to be prepared. They even have one line for some traditional American foods, mac and cheese, tacos, etc. for those fickle and fussy kids' tastes.

The place is VERY clean, the offerings were FRESH, rotated out often,  and spiced just right. 
The consensus was nearly 100% positive. When polled, those with me at the table said:
Adam: "      "
Angel added: "   "
Then Adam replied to her: "     "
Then we laughed and laughed at what Adam said. 

WhatABurger

It's been a while, eight years, in fact, that I stopped writing these silly things on a regular basis. 
What started out as a writing exercise took on a life of its own, seven or so years before that. If you are a NEW viewer, please take note of the caveats and disclaimers that are part of the template for this puny effort. It's currently a bit dated, I'll update it as I get the chance.  What will not change is the bit about this being MY OPINIONS and observations based on a SINGLE meal/location unless otherwise indicated.  I claim NO expertise or training in cuisine critique. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!  These essays may/will include satire, sarcasm, exaggerations, hyperbole and sometimes rudimentary and/or deeply flawed attempts at comedy for comedy's sake. 
That being said, let's start by re-publishing, with some amendments, a recent, rather lengthy, social media  post:

WhataBurger
3880 W, Sunshine
Springfield MO  
Web Site

I wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. I was flying solo, all by myself, alone,  shopping for a table squeegee (explanation available upon request) and a new deck chair. 
This was near the Menards home store that was the first stop on my quest. 
So I parked and stepped in. It was only noon-ish but already 90+ degrees.

The place:   Unremarkable. Clean, new-ish but nothing fancy or clever.  As I stepped up to the counter, ready to place my order, a completed order was ready for another customer. The lady holding the bag called out "DENNIS, I have an order for DENNIS!"
I checked my time machine and rather quickly remembered that time machines don't exist yet. (or do they?) It took me a few seconds to realize that, oddly enough, another person existed in the universe with my given name.  
I rattled off my order to the guy behind the counter 30 seconds had elapsed since the name calling event. 
"What name shall I put on this order?"
This was weird, awkward.
"Let's just go with Dennis"
He too thought it was weird. I could tell. There was a short pause as he recalculated his next words.
"Hey, are you a MENACE?" He smiled at his own cleverness.
"Excuse me?"
His expression changed from delight to slight worry.
"Uh, you know, 'Dennis the Menace', the old comic strip?"
"No, I have never heard that reference in my entire life."
The 'worried' expression turned to one of confusion and perhaps, fear.
"Really?"  he sheepishly squeaked.
Time to let the guy off the hook.
"Yes, I've heard it before but it stopped being funny to me around second grade."
The young man was now sweating. 

The Food.

Not BAD, just unremarkable. I ordered the #5, bacon cheese WaB. $11.94 with tax. It came with somewhat limp, mediocre fries and a 1/2 gallon styrofoam cup, which I filled with unsweet tea. The drink choice probably sounds blasphemous to my more southern friends and former classmates in Kentucky, where the standard measure for tea is one part tea, one part sugar. I can't do that anymore, Doctor's orders.

The burger itself had already assumed room temperature by the time I snapped and posted the photo. The patty was broad and thin and the standard toppings were plentiful, in fact those on the outer edge of the burger fell off. The lettuce was chopped, my favorite style for a burger or sandwich, since when chopped it can no longer act like one of those aircraft emergency exit slides for the other toppings.

Okay, this bit is a little petty, the cheese.

It had melted a little, which is fine. During the assembly phase though, and EVERY filet-o-fish I've ever had from McD's has had the same issue: ALIGNMENT.

The cheese melts appropriately, then it cools and sets. Basic physics. The patty and bun were not lined up before the melted cheese firmed up again. The bun and patty were welded together lopsided. A full half inch off center. An entire meatless bite on the right side. Arrrgh! Quality control folks, it's a simple thing, but a real thing!

The bun was thin and not too dense or heavy.

There was no ketchup on the tray, table or the self-service kiosk where the napkins and straws were. The counter guy walked around the dining area, checking on customers. As he approached my table he said, with a rising inflection, "Ketchup?"

My mind jumped directly to "Duh, yeah!"

He returned with a tray, where the three or four available ketchup options were sorted in their individual serving sized, peel-top sauce containers. I chose the one he described as 'regular'. That's just the kind of guy I am.

The dining room was about half full, mostly tradespersons from the perpetually, eternally, under-construction Target store down on West Sunshine Street.

So there was no crush of customers.

I heard, a while back, about some town's first WaB location grand opening, lines wrapped around for several blocks. . .

I was expecting to at least be mildly impressed, but alas, I should temper my expectations a little.
A social media 'friend', a delightful, interesting guy that was in high school at the same time as me, though not in the same class, John, commented of the post that: "Living here in Texas I have come to learn that eating at Whataburger for some Texans is a near religious experience."
A religious experience? What is WRONG with Texans?