Golden Corral

6110 S Lindbergh Blvd
St Louis, MO

 

Angel was hungry. She’d recently had a disappointing chicken meal at a McDonalds and was furious that her taste buds have become more refined over the last two years, since we started this quest. It used to be she’d just order something at McDonalds, eat it and not think much about it. No more. Now she actually tastes the slop and finds it wanting. It was Adam’s week to choose, Angel had hinted (which is allowed) Golden Corral, he went with it. So at the appointed time we saddled up (get it? Golden Corral - saddled up?) and made the drive to Lindbergh Ave. What with the stupid, recent time change it was still early, about 5:15 PM when we got there, but already dark. 

The Place:

This place is large and usually crowded. This night was no exception. Available parking was sporadic and limited, very, very busy.

We went in and stood in line behind a large group for several minutes before they told us they weren’t actually in line, they were still waiting for more people. So we went around, ordered our drinks, Tea, Diet Pepsi and something called ‘Pepsi Max’*, and paid $42.87 for the three buffets. There were actually two lines, each one about ten people deep, and at the end of the lines were poles with entry ropes keeping us from going into the hectic dining area. At the end of our line was a husky, purple-shirted lady with a 2-way radio. She called in on it what was needed, party of three or eight, etc. and eventually got a call back. She would then open up the rope and send the appropriate matching party through.

It reminded me of those Sci-Fi movies where the earth is being evacuated and the scared and tense families lean into the ropes waiting for their names to be called for the last escape pod out. One wrong move and you’ll end up with a stampede.

Also on hand was an off-duty deputy, just standing by. Yeah it was that busy, like an arena event.

It actually didn’t take very long. The floor crew seemed adept at turning over tables quickly. We were shuffled to a four-seater in the back. I opted for the side that looked toward the buffet line, which had the disadvantage of sitting partially in the aisle. Angel and Adam sat opposite. They got a punier view but more legroom without the risk of being tripped over. We didn’t sit, we just put down our tray and credentials and dived into the mass of trough grazers.

The Food:

I was not as hungry as Angel. I’d had a pulled pork sandwich and some cheese crackers for a rather late lunch. But that’s one of the nice things about a buffet, you can eat a little or a lot, same price. I decided to small-sample a wide variety. My first round I sampled, about a tablespoon each, meat loaf, fried shrimp, mashed potatoes, 1 sesame chicken chunk, three small strips of Bourbon St. Chicken, macaroni, linguine with scampi sauce, a fist-sized yeast roll, a cheese and garlic biscuit, a teaspoon of stuffing, and lo and behold, Italian Sausage and sauerkraut. Yes fans, finally some sauerkraut!

I had to struggle with the linguine, knowing almost immediately that I was going to have an issue with it. Pasta is simple, but fickle. It doesn’t sit very long very well. I could tell from the exercise of trying to fork out only a small portion that this batch was sticky, rubbery and had been left out too long. I headed back to the table with noodles dangling from my plate.

Angel and Adam were already digging in. Angel had waited in line for a medium steak. It was apparently worth the wait, she shared a piece with Adam. He agreed that it was really good. Her plate also contained more vegetables than mine. I don’t know why.

I tested the linguine, just as I had suspected, it was cold and reverting back to its natural, hard, rubbery state. That was too bad since I hadn’t been able to separate it much and it covered a significant portion of my plate. I piled it aside as best I could. The sesame chicken was sweet, but had a bit more heat than I was ready for. Okay, but only in small amounts. The Bourbon St. chicken was a hit. It had a subtle, smoky flavor and was charred on the edges, not too dry. The mashed potatoes were fine, but not very lumpy, the stuffing was pretty good, the shrimp was shrimp, the meat loaf was fine at first. The biscuit was too hard, the roll too soft.

“My mom loves the rolls here.” Angel said. I did not reply since I’ve never had a lot of success saying anything about her mom. She always takes it wrong.  In this case I would have, could have, said something about her mom being a truly wonderful lady, but not necessarily a reliable source of information as to what constitutes good food. I couldn’t think of a way to say that without it sounding like criticism. So I said nothing. I may have made a facial expression or a grunting noise, but not voluntarily. I got the harsh glare anyhow.

 The meatloaf was, as I said, good at first. When I got down to the bottom of it, I ran into a wall. A wall of burnt meat. Since I had plenty more to eat I just pushed the charred loaf into the growing landfill along with the pasta.

The kraut was fine, just like mom used to open a can and boil. They seemed to know the trick of drizzling a little sugar on it as well.

Adam and Angel finished quickly and made their second round. I poked through the little I had left and took notice of another family. Mom, dad, teenage daughter, and two younger girls, grade-school age. There was nothing unusual or freakish about the family itself, it was their food that grabbed my attention. The teen was pulling pink strands from a full stick of cotton candy. I shuddered at the thought of that much sugar.

I didn’t know how long they’d been there, how many nutritious rounds there may have been, but all I saw on the table were desserts. The little girls were sucking on chocolate ice cream cones, the dad was sitting behind a plated tart of some kind. Mom returned to the table with a plate full of strawberries, all chocolate covered from the Corral's much ballyhooed 'Chocolate Wonderfall' fountain. She passed those around to her flock of princesses. Dad seemed amused, I suppose since the dentist’s bill hadn’t arrived yet.

Over the course of the next half hour the girls had even more ice cream, more strawberries and a second round of cotton candy. Angel told me to stop judging them. Too late.

My first plate was about half full of tried and rejected samples, I really hadn’t eaten all that much. My second round consisted only of a small baked potato with toppings, and some more bourbon street chicken. Adam had picked up some of the sesame chicken, tasted it, thought about it and said “I think they used orange zest.” Which shocked Angel because she thought he'd said “I think it’s possessed.” After we finally straightened her out we settled into dessert choices. After watching the sugared up family I knew I didn’t want something that severe. Angel told me again to stop staring at them. The teen girl was picking her teeth with one of the strawberry’s skewers. How can you not watch that?

Between us we had brownies, fudge (not my choice) and primarily, for me, banana pudding. I had to mine for the pudding, there was so much whipped cream on it that I had to tunnel under it to get to the pudding part. I don’t care for whipped cream on food, though I hear, just hear mind you, that it’s not so bad on strippers.

The fudge was decent, but way too rich. The brownies, not bad at all.

Summary:

          Sure, there were things that weren’t perfect, or even particularly well made. Don’t get the wrong idea though. The major selling point of a good buffet is that you can create your own meal. If tonight’s meatloaf wasn’t ideal, then just go for something else. If you get a bad meal at Golden Corral it’s ultimately your own fault. There’s plenty there to choose from, as big a variety as you’ll find anywhere on the planet. Angel couldn’t say enough about the steak, Adam loves the place in general, and I’ve never left hungry. On this night I deliberately sampled more than I was actually desired due to my ongoing effort to better inform you, the fans.  I strongly recommend that you sample first, then go in for the kill. Also be certain to overeat. It’s a buffet, there’s no reward or discount for being gastronomically frugal.  It is also possible to construct a balanced, nutritional meal that does not exceed whatever diet plan you may subscribe to. Yes, you theoretically can have a balanced meal there, not that there is any actual evidence that this has ever been attempted.

Strongly recommended!

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*Pepsi Max. A Pepsi product that contains no sugar but contains twice the caffeine of regular Pepsi. When you just want a sodium-fueled, pulse-blasting buzz, but not the calories.

Casa Gallardo

1092 Old Des Peres Road
St. Louis
www.casagallardo.com/

  For over a year a couple of buddies from work and I would cross the road and have lunch at the Westport Plaza location of Casa Gallardo each Friday. We did it so often that the staff eventually recognized us and just let us head back to our usual seats, they’d bring us our chips, salsas and tea without even asking. The same waitress would stop by and confirm our orders, which seldom varied.

I’d always get a combination plate, one chicken enchilada and one chicken taquito, refried beans, rice and a corn cake. Of course this was only after the three of us slaughtered a couple of baskets of chips and salsa. They offered three kinds of salsa, normal, hotter and ‘oh my god!’ Each of us had our favorite, mine being the wimpier stuff. I stopped doing this a few months back as one of the three amigos left for another job.

It was always quite good, not that I really measured it against anything else. During the week I don’t eat anything before lunch so I’m not very picky when I do eat something.

During our visit to Ponderosa last week I noticed a Casa Gallardo across the street. So this past weekend I decided to take the family there and impress them.

What a difference a few miles can make.

The Place:

Across from / near the South County Mall, a free standing building, fairly large. Inside the décor worked really, really hard to make it appear like a courtyard in old Mexico, adobe/mission style facade, paved terra cotta floor, colorful red, white and green bunting, etc. There were three levels of seating and the place was busy and loud.

The menu didn’t look familiar, though it had been over a year since I needed a menu at the Westport location, I couldn’t say for sure if they were the same.

The young redhead asked us about drinks, Angel went for sweet tea, Adam a Pepsi, I decided, since I wouldn’t be driving, to go for beer again. She spat out the names of several Anheuser Busch products, I passed. I asked about Sam Adams, nope. She then went through a list of ‘Mexican’ beers. I stopped her at Dos Equis. All I knew about the brand was that the 'most interesting man in the world' enjoys it, at least according to the commercials.

The chips, one bowl of red salsa and the drinks arrived. The salsa was a little hotter than what I expected but not too bad. Angel said yes to the offer of chile con queso cheese dip, it was brought out quickly, about the time that we’d decided on meals.

The Food:

I didn’t see any taquitos listed anywhere, so I went for the Tres Enchiladas. (Three enchiladas) One beef, one chicken and one shrimp. I thought it was served with beans and rice, I was wrong. It was served with rice but instead of creamy beans, they plopped a pile of sautéed veggies, onions, carrot shreds and broccoli. Yeah, broccoli. (blech)

Adam ordered the Ultimate Combo #2, a ground beef enchilada, chicken burrito and a taco, without tomato, Angel ordered the Trio Favoritos, a Steak taco, enchilada and a mini-chim.

We crunched on chips and salsa but after a taste or two abandoned the cheese dip. Though it had floaters, a few pepper chunks, it tasted like heated Cheez-Whiz. Too American-Cheesy, no punch.

The plates arrived after a drink refill or two. I spent the time being thoroughly annoyed by the constantly talking and moving family across from us. My beer was served in the bottle with a lime stuck in it. I squeezed a little into the beer and then Angel grabbed it away and took a sip. She seemed unimpressed, as was I when I did the same. No body, no texture, just another typical light beer. Nor did I feel more interesting for having tried it.

My enchiladas looked limp and puny. There was barely any sauce on any of them. When I took knife to them they resisted in a rubbery way. The tortilla wrapping was as thin as paper and had the slimy appearance and texture of overcooked calamari. Inside the first one there was only four shrimp, and nothing else. If there was sauce on it, it had no distinct flavor. The shrimps themselves were dry, overcooked, though fairly spicy. The second one, shredded beef was coated with a red sauce that turned out to be more barbecue sauce than enchilada. The beef was tough and not shredded quite enough. The last hope was the chicken, strike three. The chicken was blackened and cubed, the sauce was once again, tasteless and nearly non-existent. I ended up plucking the meat out of the slimy wraps, only the shrimp got eaten completely. The rice was too dry, but not nasty. The veggies were under-cooked and there was broccoli on my plate.

Adam and Angel’s experience wasn’t much better.

Her taco was spicy and quite good, but the enchilada was too salty. Her beans were not very creamy, she too said the rice was dry. Inside the chimi, the vegetables were undercooked and tough.

Adam liked the rice, but said the chicken was skimpy. His tortillas as well were without taste or texture.

After the meal he said that he’d always heard that the nicer a Mexican restaurant looked the worse the food. This of course was a tip of the hat to our favorite Mexican place, Los Portales in Hillsboro, which by nearly every description is a run down, worn out, non-pretentious dive, but man-o’-man the food is good.

We agreed that at best this location was a family restaurant pretending to be Mexican.

Being as none of us actually finished our meals, we decided to order dessert, the choices were fried ice cream or flan.

Flan is a custard, this one covered in a brown caramel (burnt sugar) and a dab of whipped cream. They arrived quickly, large portions, too large. The texture was spot-on, but the taste was very rich and overwhelmingly eggy. Washing it down with beer was just weird. Angel said that it might have been better with coffee. None of us finished our desserts either. The redhead offered take away boxes, we all declined.

Summary:

Very, very disappointed. There was nothing actually very good among the meals. As a whole it was unanimously thumbs down. I noticed that other folks seemed to not be making a fuss about the food, maybe this was the best they’d had. I feel sorry for them if that was true. It doesn’t take a lot to make a good Mexican meal, it’s simple, only a few ingredients and the cooking process is not difficult. Los Portales, admittedly run by a Mexican family, has this stuff nailed, for a lot less money.

The tab came to sixty plus dollars, partially excused by the extras, the flans and the cheese dip, but even with that the food really wasn’t worth the price.

I’ll be going back to the Westport location sometime soon I’m sure. I’m curious if this bad experience is simply location-based or if the chain has really stepped back that much.

Ponderosa / Steak and Shake

Ponderosa Steakhouse

6516 S Lindberg Blvd.
St. Louis, MO 63123

http://www.ponderosasteakhouses.com/ponderosa/index.html

Saturday, cool, misty, icky all day. We’d all held out for a big meal.

The Place:

South county, on Lindberg, near I-55.

Dan Blocker (‘Hoss’ of ‘Bonanza’ fame) opened up the Bonanza Steakhouse chain in 1963. In 1997 that chain joined up with the similar Ponderosa chain. The latter also derived its name from that same old TV series. Since the merger the parent companies, which also owned Bennigan’s and Steak and Ale have struggled to stay afloat. Bennigans and S&A are gone now, except for a few that have been reopened under completely new management. The remaining steakhouses parent companies have been in and out of bankruptcy protection.

I think I know why, more on this later.

You order as you walk in, as if it were a fast food place. If you haven’t been before, or in quite a while, it can be a bit daunting and rushed. I knew they had an all-you-can-eat buffet, which was what we all ordered.

This was a mistake. At other steakhouse/buffets, the buffet is enormous. (Ryan’s for example) At Ponderosa, not so much. We should have ordered steak.

We were shown our seats and sat our drink-laden (T,T,C)tray on the booth table. We headed immediately to the buffet line. It was a little underwhelming.

The Food:

The hot food section was no bigger than the salad section, not a lot of choices.

Among the three of us, we sampled: (along with overall comments)

Tea Not bad, not bad at all.

Mashed potatoes/gravy. Good

Macaroni/cheese. Very good, creamy, thick.

Chili. Pretty good.

Catfish. Salty/greasy

Chicken Thighs, Not Adam’s favorite part of the bird.

Green beans. Yawn.

Potatoes Au Gratin WAAAAAY too peppery.

Dinner rolls Nice, pretty good.

Ice Cream with Gummy bears (Angel’s choice) Seriously?

Boiled Cabbage (Angel’s choice) Very good! (LOL, blech..)

What you see in this list unfortunately is pretty much eighty or ninety percent of what they offered. Kind of skimpy. There was no roast, turkey, or ham, or other meats. We got the impression that the buffet was available primarily as a side offering / afterthought. Next time we’ll get steak.

Summary:

Aside from the limited offerings and a couple of noted exceptions, the overall impression was okay to good. The service was very good, friendly, quick and attentive. A couple of little gripes though.

There was no silverware at the buffet line so I had to go all the way back to the initial order line to get one for my chili. Also the plates were almost too small to hold a substantial amount of food.

The dessert selection was minimal, no pie.

The bill came in at around thirty seven dollars, not too bad, but similar places offer more choices for that amount. Ponderosa could be better, it lacks originality and uniqueness, and seems to be without direction and drive. They offer nothing outstanding, and what they do serve is only average. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t jump out in my mind when I’m hungry.

Sunday, still raining, all day.

We’d spent the day cursing the infernal, unending misty rain. I’d taken a couple of days off work to try to catch up on some yard work and other projects, but the rain was so dreary that I ended up napping a lot instead. By evening we realized that we hadn’t thawed anything out and were too depressed to whip something up, so we headed for:

Steak and Shake

Angel had told me a while back that S&S offered chili. This was my goal for this trip.

The Place:

On a hill above I-55 in Festus, next to that awful Fazoli’s. As we got there we looked into the nasty pasta place and scratched our heads as to why so many people were eating there. It’s like they looked around at the five other eating joints within walking distance and said “Sure all that looks great, but what I’m really hungry for is some under or over cooked, doughy pasta dish with timid, canned marinara sauce! Just like Mom used to thaw out!”

We really liked S&S the last time we went, simple, tasty food for a good price. This time we decided to stray form the classics and try different stuff. The place was packed and bustling, a line was forming. Unlike at Ponderosa we were seated and offered menus. The nice Italian-ish lady was friendly and efficient. She took our drink orders, tea, sweet tea and root beer.

There was a lot to choose from on the menu. Even though I knew I wanted to try the chili, I decided I’d better hedge my bet and get a little something on the side.

Me: Chili Deluxe (Onions and cheese), an A1 ‘Shooter’ (small, slider-sized burger) and onion rings.

Angel: Grilled Chicken Sandwich, with a side of chili. (with fries)

Adam: Chipotle Chicken sandwich, (hold just about everything) and fries.

Angel asked for her chili to be served ahead of the meal, I opted for everything at the same time.

The Food:

Her chili came shortly after our drinks, about three bites in she curled her cute little nose and said “Uh oh.”

I looked at her, she had an expression on her face that could only indicate extreme disappointment. But then again that’s usually the only expression I ever see on her face when she’s talking to me.

“It’s too salty.” She finally fess’ed up.

This was bad news. For HER to admit something was too salty was really saying something. Of all the times I’ve remarked (whined) about this sort of thing she rarely agrees, calling me too sensitive, too picky, along with a host of other disrespectful things, too mean spirited and cruel to mention here.

My plates arrived, the bowl was wide and shallow. Too shallow. Alongside it were two packets of saltines. I asked for more. (duh!)

The chili was not too salty. I stated as much and Angel seemed relieved. We blamed it on her crackers. She’d added tiny oyster crackers, I used the proper saltines.

I like to dip my chili for a while, loading a cracker up half way then double dipping to keep anyone else form wanting any of it, I’m a prolific drooler. This technique proved to be problematic. The bowl was about eight inches wide, but only an inch deep. Pushing the saltine through the thick broth merely pushed the chili over the rim of the bowl. It was like soup on a plate. Once I stopped trying and used my spoon, it got a little better. However as far as chili goes, this was single-note stuff. There were plenty of beans, which I like, but the overall taste was the same overall. There was no depth of flavor. I prefer chili, like that from Wendy’s that has little nuggets of veggies that still maintain their own individual tastes. The peppers taste like peppers, onions like onions. At S&S everything in the bowl tasted like the chili broth itself. It wasn’t bad at all, but it just didn’t sparkle.

The onion rings were very good, the little burger was quite tasty, maybe a little too much A1 sauce, but not enough to make it bad. Adam and Angel considered the chicken sandwiches a little skimpy, but otherwise quite good. On the waitress’ last check on our happiness Angel asked for a Hershey’s Dark Chocolate Shake to go. Adam chimed in excitedly and ordered one as well. I of course did not since I’m lactose ambivalent (I neither hate it or love it) and besides, I had a package of Nutter Butter Crème Patties waiting for me (hidden) at home.*

Summary:

The service was very good. The Italian-ish woman stayed on top of the drinks and the empty dishes, and a manager inquired about the meal as well. It was like a fast food place, but with the service of an uptown sit-down restaurant.

Of course there were too many kids. It was quite noisy, but that probably couldn’t be helped under current law. Once I become supreme dictator, restaurants other than McDonalds will be off limits to anyone under twenty five.

The bill came in at thirty-two bucks and change, not bad for the variety of stuff we ordered. I really, really like this place.

Once home I quaffed down a half bag of the cookies.

Helpful Medical Hint:

If you are going to have chili, onion rings and tiny burgers for dinner, then shove down a half bag of cookies, I recommend NOT adding a big glass of orange juice at bedtime to the mix! It was not pretty.

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* Nutter Butter Crème Patties: I was celebrating once again, my mini-vacation and a successful presentation at the Writer’s Society meeting: ‘Internet Platforms for Writers’.