Five Guys

2255 Michigan Ave
Arnold, Mo
www.fiveguys.com


It had been two years since we last took on the Five Guys Burgers and Fries. It was Adam's choice, no argument. I reread the previous post and saw a reminder to myself to order the 'Little' version of the burger. Good advice.
Five Guys was started by, get this, five guys, in Arlington Virginia in 1986. They now boast over a thousand locations in 47 states and 6 Canadian provinces.  A Canadian Province is like a state, just bigger, colder and more polite.
Unique among burger franchises, they serve nothing that has ever been frozen. They don't have freezers. They hand carve their own French fries from whole potatoes. They even post the farm that the day's potatoes are from. They only use peanut oil.
They had a firm plan, a strict set of requirements and standards, and they are incredibly successful.
The Place:

Arnold, in a shopping center that hosts an 'Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt' store and across the street from a Walmart and a Pay-less shoe store. There's lots and lots of shopping venues in Arnold.
They offer outside seating with umbrella capped tables, but we opted to go inside, because we're civilized.
Bright red, bright white, that describes almost everything about the place. Only the ceiling breaks from this theme, it's black. Bright, shiny tiles accentuate the sparkly cleanness of the place.
You walk in, step up to the counter, glance at the overhead menu, place your order, pay for it, then find a seat.
This process doesn't take very long, they only offer burgers, hot dogs and four other sandwiches. That's it, that's all they offer.
The Food:
This won't take long.
I ordered the Little Bacon Cheeseburger, so did Angel, Adam ordered the regular version of the same thing.

We decided to split on large order of fries. Five Guys, apparently aware of my reputation, doesn't serve ice tea. Soda pop, water... that's all.
I asked for a water, the happy lady at the counter pointed to a #6 wash basin on the counter filled with ice and Dasani bottles and said "Help yourself."
"I'd prefer to be served." I replied.
We all chuckled. Then she whispered, "We're not allowed to touch the tops of the bottles since that's where people drink from."
I was pleasantly surprised to hear this. So I grabbed one, twisted open the top and took a swig. "Tastes funny, like somebody's hand."
Angel and Adam made their way around the pile of potato sacks and back to the soda dispenser. Angel got Mr. Pibb, Adam a Barq's Root Beer. I scooped up some of the complimentary shelled peanuts and found a table.  There were no condiments on the table. If you want mustard and ketchup, you say as much when you order your burger, along with the many other toppings, mostly traditional, at no extra charge. I'd asked for lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, grilled onions, mustard and ketchup. Angel and Adam asked for mayo on theirs. I think they are closet Canadians.

We munched on a few peanuts, I took note that today's potatoes came form Hanks Farm in St. Anthony Idaho. Hanks Farm is owned by Peggy and Douglas Hanks and received $52, 642 in federal subsidies between 2005 and 2012. Mr. Hanks was elected VP of Environmental Affairs for the  National Potato Council in 2010. (Don't you love the internet?)
Idaho is an otherwise worthless and inhospitable state in this country's mountainous northwest. It abuts the Canadian Province of Alberta at its northernmost point. There are only 19 people per square mile in Idaho, only slightly more densely populated than the surface of the moon.
Idaho is famous for its potatoes because by the time it attained statehood in 1890, all the cool things to be famous for were already taken. The state bird, dance and flower of Idaho is also the potato.(Some of this may be incorrect, I got bored in a few short minutes just reading about that awful state.)
Our number was called, Adam jumped up and fetched the tray, or maybe it was Angel, I don't actually remember, but somebody other than me picked up the food.
The burgers were foil wrapped, the fries came stuffed in and protruding from a large disposable cup. We each tore into the foil and grabbed a handful of fries. The burgers were stuffed to the rafters with our chosen toppings, unlike the burgers at McD's and the like, which tend to treat lettuce, tomatoes and pickles like cash down the drain. On my burger they were generously applied. It wasn't even that big of a burger. I squeezed mine to make it all stay in place, juices shot out of all sides, luscious, ooey, gooey, delicious juices. Even the thick meat was juicy.
The fries were not juicy, they were fried to a perfect dark golden brown, firm and  fresh. Biting into these spud sticks confirmed that these were indeed, hand cut from fresh potatoes, there's no mistaking that taste and texture. Hat's off to Doug and Peggy Hanks, these were some delicious potatoes.
We all started stuffing ourselves with the burgers and fries. Overhead, a ubiquitous 'Journey' song blasted, followed by something quirky by Beck. My only complaint about the place was that the music was too loud.
Summary:
The burgers and fries were, to put it mildly, awesome. These burgers are several steps above any other franchise burgers. Perhaps not as good as The Concord Grill in Affton, or a handful of other non-franchise places, but for a 1000+ location chain, really, really good. The attention to freshness, simplicity and quality stand out. The staff was very friendly and accommodating, the lady behind the counter came around and chatted a couple of times, cleaning off tables between customers.The price was very reasonable, thirty five dollars for all the burgers, fries and peanuts we could hold. Five Guys smartly keeps prices down by limiting the menu. Like I said, if you want something other than a burger or a kosher hot dog, you're in the wrong place. I also wish there were more convenient locations, I hate having to go all the way to Arnold. That's the only reason why we haven't been back in two years.

Jack In The Box

899 Veterans Blvd
Festus, Mo

Still waiting for the new Hibachi Buffet to open, we had a plan B. Jack has been running an ad for a few weeks now for their 'Bacon Insider' burger.  Bacon on the burger as is traditional, but also with bacon mixed inside the patty, and it is topped with a bacon mayo. That's a lot of bacon, but we're mid-westerners. So this trip wasn't so much about the place as it was about a specific item.

The Place:

Clustered amongst a dozen or so fast food franchises just off I-55 on Highway A, or Veterans Blvd. as it is locally signed. It doesn't stand out very much, but if you are looking for it, just head to Burger King, Fazoli's or Taco Bell.
It is more nicely decorated than BK or McD's but it's still a fast-food burger joint. The floors and tables were mostly clean, unlike the last couple of times we'd been there. It wasn't very busy and there didn't seem to be a large crew working. As we stepped up to the counter I could see one young lady mass-producing tacos. The mature gentleman that waited on us seemed manager-like, yet he handled the drive-thru headset like a pro.
The Food:  We all ordered the same burger. I got mine as a medium combo with curly fries, so did Adam. Angel nixed the fries and got two tacos instead. Angel and Adam like Jack's tacos, I do not. We settled up, twenty five bucks and change.
We grabbed straws, ketchup packets and napkins and followed Angel to a booth near the front. Out came the electronic devices, two smart phones and a tablet. I use my tablet to take notes and photos for this review. Angel and Adam use theirs to goof off.
I told them about a study I'd heard about on the radio earlier in the day. A team of Japanese scientists, presumably not the same scientists that should have been figuring out what to do with that nuclear power plant disaster in Fukushima, did a four month study to find the best way to hold a hamburger. I knew the result and told my family that I would be demonstrating the technique. Granted this was a study conducted by a group culturally more accustomed to eating with sticks than a fork, and the study is a little suspect in that it took a group of scientists four months to conduct a study that most American kids figure out in a few minutes by the time they're teenagers. But anyway, it was an official study, so it must be important.
They called our name, Adam popped up to grab the tray.
The burgers were diapered in paper inside boxes, another part of a tree died to produce the paper product to transport food the fifteen feet to the booth and the fifteen feet to the trash bin, unnecessarily wasteful. But that's an argument for another day.
They looked like regular burgers, Angel's tacos looked flat and dead, like Mexican road kill.
Jack boasts in its commercial about this treat being served on brioche, a bread with a higher butter and egg content than good old America white bread. I appreciate up-scaling bread, usually, but to me, on a sandwich, it's more important what is between the bun. My curly fries looked fine, crispy looking, though not actually crispy. I took a bite or two of the burger, it tasted like a bacon cheeseburger, with mayonnaise.  I don't usually put mayo on a burger, I'm an old fashioned mustard and ketchup guy. I found the mayo to be distracting, too loud a note for a savory burger. Angel and Adam shared the tacos, ate them like they were good. I found nothing appetizing about them at all the time I'd tried one. Some people really like them though, one couple came in to pick up their phoned in order of seventy tacos. Yeah, seventy. Blech.
As I ate the burger I realized I was fantasizing about burgers and bacon, but not at Jacks. For the same price as my combo, a little over seven bucks, I'd had a breakfast that very morning at Huddle House in DeSoto. Two eggs, over medium, hash browns, wheat toast and two slices of bacon. That's how to enjoy bacon, plus, HH served up a continuous set of refills for my delicious coffee for the full hour I had sat there and read my book.
Unlike the tea at Jack's. The tea was floral, weak and a bit bitter, I only took a few sips.
At Jack's, as I ate the mediocre burger, flaccid curly fries and sipped that terrible tea, I was dreaming of breakfast at HH and the burgers, just down the road at Gordon's stop light.
The brioche bun was more of a complication than a bonus. It was tougher, chewier than the burger itself. It even made my newly discovered technique for holding a burger more difficult.

The 'right' way.

The 'wrong' way.

The study explained that by using the pinky finger to support the bottom of the bun along with the thumb, this provides more stability for the burger so the innards don't slip out as badly. This is an awkward hand position though, and is probably best suited for a flimsy bun. The brioche was closer to the consistency and density of pizza crust, structurally more rigid. So my findings with the technique were inconclusive.
Summary:
Bottom line, the burger tasted like a mediocre fast food burger. I probably won't make this a destination meal. It wasn't awful, but there are so many other things available nearby that this new burger just didn't stand out as anything special. The tea was not good at all, I threw most of it away on our way out. Angel said the burger seemed overcooked, perhaps because of the bacon inside it. No one applauded, no one moaned in ecstasy or delight and the conversation at the table and in the car was about nearly every other
subject other than the meal. I think that's like a C-. Passing, but not noteworthy. It was indeed more bacon-y than a traditional bacon cheeseburger, but unnecessarily so. I'm sure it sounded good in the development meetings, but the fact is, it really wasn't terribly interesting or delicious.
The tea?  -4. The price? Like I said I could have spent that same money in the area and received a much better meal. Sorry Jack, a swing and a miss.