Showing posts with label fazoli's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fazoli's. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

That’sa Nice’a Pizza

2000 Richardson Rd.

Arnold, Mo.

http://tnparnold.com/

It had been a busy day, mine started early as I had read about a cemetery cleanup in Hillsboro. Yeah, I was actually excited about this. The local paper had said they were looking for volunteers to show up between eight and noon. I had slept in a little and didn’t get there until after nine. By then it was all pretty much done. There was still one gentleman picking up fallen branches, so I grabbed a few and added them to his pile. Another gentleman was tossing bright yellow trash bags into the back of a large pickup truck. Down the hill there was a young lady with a notebook and pen stopping at the occasional grave and writing something down. I grabbed my camera and my official ‘Find-A-Grave’ cap and headed down to see her. She wasn’t a big talker, and my mere presence didn’t seem to impress her much. I did gather that she was identifying veterans’ graves.

The man tossing the trash bags came down and told the lady that he was going to take the trash away but would be back. I asked him if there was anything else I could do to help. No, even with the early showers and a small crew they’d pretty much got done what they needed to do. We chatted for a while, exchanged knowledge, I logged him as a useful resource. It also turned out that he was my insurance agent, Matt Woods. I’d never actually met him before, as Angel handles most of the administrative tasks.

I went on to Walmart to take care of personal items then went home to catch up on emails, Facebook, etc. The Classic movie channel had run an evening of cheesy Mike Hammer (Mickey Spillane) movies made in the 50’s and early 60’s. I had recorded them since coincidentally I had been reading Spillane for the past three or so weeks. Between one of those and an obligatory nap, it was soon time for dinner.

Adam had chosen this week, a place not too far from where he matriculates. (ITT Tech)

The Place:

A small strip mall on a hill above I-55. Adam had spent the day in Arnold with a friend and met us there. As we waited for him we grabbed the menu… Yeah THE menu, there only appeared to be one, and looked it over. I made several observations at this point.

Even though the words ‘Eat In’ appear on the window, they are kidding themselves. Inside the place there was a dining area of about twenty feet by eight feet, half of which was taken up by two video games, one an old fashioned table-style Ms. Pacman, the other had a flat screen and a steering wheel. That left room for only two tables, each with four chairs. There was a baby-toting couple at one table, the other was empty but would be a pain to sit at since two of the four chairs didn’t even have room to pull out all the way.

Also, something I noticed when we first drove up, the front door was propped open. When we stepped in to get the menu, we stepped out to read it over as the heat inside the place was near stifling. There was a ceiling fan churning away at medium speed, but it offered no actual comfort. The entire staff was dripping with sweat as was the baby-laden couple and the baby itself.

Angel and I agreed that we’d take the order ‘to-go’ and find a park somewhere to eat.

The Food:

Adam showed up and looked over the menu. We made our choices, ordered and passed on the drinks. They only offered Coke, Diet Coke and Sprite as drinks, all in cans. Angel and Adam drove across the street to a Circle K (a convenience store chain) and grabbed fountain drinks for themselves and a bottle of water for me. As they were gone one of the young, female workers found me on the sidewalk.

Angel had ordered pizza, one called the ‘Pride of the House’; Salsiccia (Italian Sausage), Mushroom, Ham and Onion. She also shared an appetizer, teriyaki chicken wings. Adam had ordered the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich. I enjoy diversity and wanted to put this dive through its paces. I ordered spaghetti and meatballs, with a side of garlic bread.

When the young lady found me on the sidewalk, she looked distressed. A manger-type stepped out behind her.

“I’m sorry sir we seem to be out of spaghetti pasta.”

Really? I was stunned. Pasta is about the cheapest, most available and storable ingredients on the planet, and they had none. They said that they did have fettuccini, I said fine, just make it with that.

Angel and Adam got back and sat in the car until the food was ready. Angel suggested we head to Kimmswick, a little town down the road. I agreed since I know a bit about that little town and its history and current status is infinitely more interesting than Arnold’s. As it turned out, Kimmswick, which sits right on the edge of the Mississippi River was a little squishy, and the tourist area had not yet opened for the season. Nobody was there and there were no public picnic tables anywhere on dry ground.

By this time we knew the food was cooling, so we decided to just head home.

Sure enough, the spaghetti had congealed to a single red sauce, meatball, cheese and pasta mass. A couple of minutes in the microwave softened it back up, but as you know, nuked pasta is never as good as fresh. I tore a off a small piece of Angel’s pizza, pinched off some teriyaki flesh, and dumped the wad of pasta out of it’s Styrofoam box and on to a standard plate.

The meatballs were large, about golf ball size. They cost ninety nine cents each; I had splurged and ordered three. Like many large meatballs, they weren’t that good, kind of dry and bland, like a wad of unseasoned, slightly overcooked ground beef. The pasta was thick and heavy, the marinara was nothing to write home about. It wasn’t really bad, but it was no better than the stuff we keep a couple of jars of in the pantry. The bread, because of travel time, had gone a little stale. It was okay, but would have been much nicer fresh out of the oven.

The teriyaki chicken was pretty good, the pizza was above average. The pizza was served St. Louis style, thin crust, cut into squares. Angel had opted for mozzarella rather than the traditional St. Louis style provel cheese. She considers provel a little too sweet.

I struggled through my pasta, it was weighing me down fast. I managed to barely make a dent in it and two of the meatballs before I called it quits. I put the rest in the fridge, but had pretty much already decided that I wouldn’t be revisiting it. We had better, more satisfying leftovers already in the chill box. (I ended up dumping it the next evening) As far as pasta goes, this stuff was certainly better than Chef Boyardee and infinitely better than that swill at Fazoli’s, but that’s about it. It was not even close to that which I can make at home. It might have been better had it been fresh, but as I said, dining in is really not a realistic option at this place.

Summary:

That’sa Nice’a Pizza should be taken for what it is (or should be). It’s a pizza joint best suited only for delivery or pickup. The interior of the place is not suited for dining at all, hot, tiny, noisy, completely lacking in basic comfort and ambience (no restrooms). On the wall above the counter someone had written, in large-lettered pencil: “Join our Mail Club!” with a crude penciled arrow pointing to a stack of sign-up cards. Tacky, and not even chic or cool-tacky, just cheap and lazy.

The pizza, as I said was pretty darn good, better than Pizza Hut, Imo's, Cecil Whitakers, or just about every other St. Louis style pizza we’ve come across. Part of that may be in Angel’s choice of toppings, but they did seem to be good, fresh ingredients prepared well. The only problem is that Arnold is a long way from our compound outside of Hillsboro, and there’s no way to get a fresh pizza from them in a timely manner, so returning there is not really a viable option for us.

The whole diverse meal came in at just over forty two dollars, not too bad considering we ordered from all over the map. Adam’s sandwich, the teriyaki chicken and the pizza were quite good. I wouldn’t waste money on much else though.

That'sa Nice'a Pizza on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fazoli's

Festus MO
We weren’t planning to eat out on Saturday. Demolition derby returned to Hillsboro and this we would not miss, gates open at 5:00 PM, normal dining time. So all day Saturday we assumed that we would be eating out on Sunday instead.
I had a sausage/egg/cheese sandwich for breakfast and made Angel one as well. I went out and made a cemetery run, got my oil changed and stopped by Wally-World to pick up my weekly HBA’s (health and beauty aids, we do not ask each other to do this for us.)
I got home around noon and fixed up some of the leftover chili Angel had made the night before. I added flavor and texture in the form of garlic and peppers. Not a large helping, but it would see me through till a late burger after the derby.
After walking a few dogs, checking my Facebook and updating the findagrave site with my day’s discoveries, I took a short nap, I woke up around 4:00. Something guided my hand and I looked up the Demo Derby’s website and discovered that though the gates would open at 5:00, the derby didn’t actually start until 7:00.
I broke the news to Angel and Adam, our schedule was shot. The dogs were already fed and bedded, prepared for us to be out for a while.
So we decided to go ahead and go to Fazoli’s.
The Place:
We had been avoiding Fazoli’s for nearly a year. We had always assumed that it was of low quality, fast and cheap. I pronounced that being as we had such low expectations, based on no actual information, that surely we could or would be proven wrong. We drove to Festus, there it was waiting for us as it has since we moved to Jefferson County. Up on the hill above the interstate, alongside Steak and Shake and McDonalds.
The parking lot was ample and uncluttered, the outside of the restaurant looked very much like the outside of a billion other fast food joints. Inside all was shiny and clean, a few families sat at tables and booths.
There was only one menu, posted above the head of an eager clerk. It took a few minutes as I had not pre-checked online.
Music droned from overhead speakers, faux-Italian, mixed with standards performed by people perhaps with Italian names, but not necessarily Italian songs. If someone named Betty Risotto sang “Xanadu” I think it would qualify as Italian music here.
I chose and we placed our orders one at a time.
The Food:
For myself, combo #8, the pasta sampler with a salad and red wine vinaigrette dressing. Angel picked #3, the twice baked lasagna also with a salad and Caesar salad dressing. Adam went for #2, fettuccine Alfredo with a side slice of pizza. The clerk tallied it up, took our money and handed us three cups and a number (23) on a stick so they could find us.
I led us to a table, that’s right a table not a booth, and positioned myself so I could see the place at work.
Angel and Adam poured themselves some pop, I tinkered with the tea machine, it defaulted to ‘sweet tea’ but with some poking and swearing I got it to change to ‘unsweet’, as God intended iced tea to be.
The tea was cloudy, and unremarkable. I yanked half a dozen napkins from the single bulk napkin dispenser and grabbed three each of the thin, cheap, metal silverware. The table was adequately wiped down, though not completely crumb-free.
The food came pretty quick, all at one time. The salads were better than expected, crisp lettuce, tomatoes, red cabbage carrots delivered with a chilled condiment packet of the aforementioned salad dressing.
My main course was three piles, lasagna, fettuccine Alfredo and spaghetti with meat sauce. Also included on our plates was a light, warm breadstick.
Adam’s pizza slice looked almost like a photograph of a pizza slice. The pepperoni was perfectly arranged and whole as if this slice was prepared and cooked as an individual entity, not part of a larger pie.
The lasagna was a gamble for me, I’m not a huge fan anyhow. The cheese they used was not to my liking, I gave it a couple of bites and let it go. The spaghetti was okay, predictable, nothing wild or crazy. I would have liked a bit more sauce as most of my noodles were naked after just a few bites. The fettuccine was also okay and predictable; it could have been anyone’s Alfredo. The fettuccine noodles themselves were a bit undercooked, nearly raw in the center.
Adam seemed to enjoy it but spent most of his interest on the pizza slice. Angel enjoyed the salad and the lasagna until she ran aground. The bottom layer and up through the next pasta layer in one large corner were rock-hard. She peeled up that corner to reveal that the bottom was burnt as black as overdone toast. Twice baked, once burnt.
No one made it more than halfway through, not entirely because of the quality of the food. Recall that we had not planned to be eating out.
“I shouldn’t have had that chili at one thirty” Angel said. “I shouldn’t have had that chili at 2:30” Adam added. “I had the chili at noon, I regret nothing” I concluded.
So we left. There was a sign that read “No need to tip”, I remarked “Not a problem.”
Summary;
The food was not awful, even considering the burnt lasagna. But then again, it wasn’t really very good.
We tried comparisons, Trattoria Giuseppe’s? Not even the same planet. Pizza Hut? Not quite as good. Chef Boyardee? Getting closer. Bertolli, Lean Cuisine? Yeah that’s it. The food at Fazoli’s including the pizza was at least as good/bad as a frozen dinner, but not by much. It was uninteresting, predictable, manufactured, industrialized. Fazoli’s is to Italian what Mrs. Pauls is to seafood.
Discussing it afterward, we tried to imagine a scenario where we would want to go to Fazoli’s. We came up blank. We’ve all from time to time craved KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Subway and even White Castle (though not for very long) and could not, now having tasted the food imagine a time in the past or future where Fazoli’s would be the answer to a craving. I can make better spaghetti or fettuccine at home with basic ingredients, even canned that is far and above better than this place with a minimum of effort and time.
There was no service to speak of, the price was not terrible coming in at twenty eight bucks, but for the quality of food, not appealing. We can feast on fresh Mexican fare at Las Portales for that price or take home a family bucket from KFC.
I doubt we will ever go back, I just can’t imagine when it would be what I wanted.
Sure it’s Italian, but it’s certainly no Olive Garden (which I also don’t care for).


Fazoli's on Urbanspoon