Applebee's

673 Gravois Bluffs Blvd.
Fenton, Mo.
On the web.


We had options. Gravois Bluffs is a shopping area, I've mentioned it several times before. Along the row in front of the big box stores on the south side of highway 141, is a long line of restaurants, a dozen or more. Most, if not all, chain restaurants you've heard of.
Our actual destination was on the north side of the road, even more stores and restaurants there. We were on a quest. We had decided that we needed new dinnerware. Like many working families, our plates and bowls are mismatched, chipped and diminishing in numbers. Angel had been thinking about it and decided that we should just go ahead and replace the war-weary collection. A store that once had nice dinnerware, Gordman's was on the north side of the highway, in the shadow of the bluffs. Angel recalled that there was an Applebee's in that same shopping center.
She's recovering from foot surgery but can now get around for short periods in her 'boot' without crutches or the now-abandoned knee scooter. Driving long distances is problematic for her since the boot is so bulky that once in place under the dashboard, there's very little wiggle room, her leg and foot stiffen up. So I drove her in her Trailblazer.  I commute in a little VW Jetta. I like my small, reliable, efficient little car. Her SUV feels massive in comparison. I rarely drive it. But I soldiered up and offered to drive. She stretched out on the passenger side, an ideal position to complain about my
overly cautious and timid driving style. She didn't nag, but I could hear the frequent sighs.
The Place:
The shopping center is very busy, but Applebee's didn't seem crowded. I cautiously and timidly parked the battleship near the door. A member of the wait staff opened the door for us as we approached. They seated us in the central dining area, near the bar, at a bistro style table.
Asked for drinks, Angel asked for sweet tea, I grumbled and settled for the un-sweet version.
I'd really like to find something else to drink on these trips, tea is almost always a disappointment at restaurants.
I looked around, typical, ubiquitous, 80's chain sports bar. TV's playing sports on every wall, thankfully muted. The overhead music came through scratchy, distributed (100 volt) institutional ceiling speakers. Those things are fine for low volume 'Muzak' but lousy for contemporary, bass-heavy pop or rock. I could explain why this is, but will spare you for the time being.
The Food:
I'd scanned the online menu earlier in the day so I'd already narrowed it down a short list of possible choices. Angel didn't seem to have any problem deciding either. I sipped on the tea, which was surprisingly good. Clear, bright, fresh. It could have been a little stronger, but for restaurant tea this was quite good.
I'd briefly considered the fish and chips, until I remembered a 'note to self': If fish and chips is not featured prominently on the menu, skip it, just walk away. Nobody seems to get the fish right at all the places I've ordered it in the past. Applebee's had it buried well down in the 'yeah we have this stuff too, if you insist' section.
The gentleman who would be our server asked for our orders, Angel took the lead.
Shrimp 'n Parmesan  Sirloin with grilled veggies and garlic mashed potatoes.
Me: Grilled Onion Sirloin and Stout Gravy with crispy red potatoes. (from the 'Lighter Fare' page)
As we waited I noticed that two of the muted TV's were not showing actual sports, they were instead showing a guy talking. I assume about sports, but for a half hour or more it was just this guy talking, on a muted TV, with no closed captioning. Not surprisingly, I could

find no one watching those 2
TVs. Frankly, it didn't appear that anyone was watching the football game on the other TV's either. I wish these places would tune at least one or two TV's to something else other than sports.
The wait was not especially long, another server brought out our plates.
Mine looked exactly like the photo in the menu. A six ounce steak, which, to me, is the perfect size for a steak, and a generous spread of crispy red potatoes. The 'Stout gravy' was an unknown. It was pretty though, the color of molasses, just not quite as thick, sweet and disgusting.
Angel's steak was a little bigger and topped with shrimp. It looked pretty good. The mixed veggies were off-putting though, one word: squash.
Yes I have tried squash, lots of kinds, lots of ways. No, just no. I cannot un-remember that distinctive, sickening taste. Go ahead and enjoy it if you like, but for me, it's just no.
The server demanded we cut into our steaks to check that the done-ness was as desired. I went medium this night, sometimes I'll go a bit pinker, but was in the mood for just a little more firmness this time around. Neither of us had any complaints. The server asked if we wanted steak sauce, I gave her my standard reply. "Not if you did the steak right."
We didn't need any sauce.
I cautiously dipped a red tater into the dark brown gravy and gave it a shot.
I was not disappointed. I savored it. I could detect meat drippings, au jus, and something, something. . . .oh yeah 'Stout' as in beer. It wasn't all beer-y, it had been cooked down quite a bit. It was heavenly. It had a deep, dare I say manly flavor. Steak drippings and beer on top of steak and potatoes. . . oh yeah.
Angel was going to town on hers as well. Then something quite remarkable happened. We both openly expressed how pleased we were with or meals. Not just a little, but quite pleased indeed!
I almost hated to admit it. We really, really liked the food.
Summary:

I had managed expectations about Applebee's, it has disappointed before. I can't say much about the service, it could have been a little more attentive  and consistent, but no one was rude, nor did they botch the order.
On the table was a touch pad terminal. I'm not a gadget-guy, so it didn't interest me much. Angel poked on it a little. You could pay to play a game, pay your bill, order stuff, things like that. Of course Angel can play games on her own phone for no charge, no need to fork over $1.69 or whatever it was. The original server brought us the check, but Angel wanted to pay on the terminal. It knew what this table had ordered and it asked if we wanted to split the ticket. I guess that's cool, settle that fight with your co-workers while everyone's still sitting there.
She didn't split our check though, since we're in love and married and stuff. It's how we roll. The bill came to $41.25, a very respectable price for a fantastic meal.

Ryan's

Festus, Mo.


I was quite surprised at Angel's choice.She explained it though , she wanted to sample a variety of cooked vegetables. Normally I'd object. Ryan's has displeased me in the past with its sub-par quality. As for variety though, that's hard to debate. It's a buffet. American style, home-style, comfort food. Carb and calorie loading at your fingertips. No frills, just lots of food.
The Place:
On a hill overlooking the joint where I get my oil changed, above A, near 61/67. Its been there a long time, I think it used to be something else, but my memory is only seven years old in this area. Its always been a Ryan's to me.
Lots of parking, lots of tables and booths, the place can serve hundreds at a sitting. You go in, you pay and name your drinks, they hand you the receipt and tell you to leave it on the table, seat yourselves anywhere you like.
We found a table against the wall, dropped the receipt and headed toward the lines. The place was busy, it always is. If nothing else, Ryan's solves a problem. You aren't limited to just Italian or just steak, or just pizza or just Chinese. they've got it all. They've even recently started offering Mongolian barbecue.
The Food:

My plate

I was at a loss. I try to eat healthier during the week, moderation, moderation, cut back on the carbs and sugar. But Saturday night I allow myself the one meal to stop thinking of meals as a complex math problem and just indulge my cravings. I still don't really overeat, I just don't worry so much about the ratios.
I was craving starches, so I plopped a small amount of mashed potatoes with a little brown gravy and a little mac and cheese and a few slices of fried potatoes with onions. As you can see what I really piled on was the lima beans, and that reddish brown lump in the upper left corner is meatloaf. The lady at the register was bragging about the meatloaf, I hadn't had any in quite a while, so sure.

Angel's

Angel decided to line up for a steak, she added several kinds of cooked veggies as she had said she would. Cabbage, broccoli, okra and other disgusting, snotty stuff.
Our drinks arrived later than we did, a result of the seat yourself policy. The waitresses roam the tables seemingly randomly and look for a receipt that hasn't been addressed. Then they go get the drinks. Tea, Diet Coke and Coke for Myself, Angel and Adam respectively. Even later than our drinks was the bread basket. The rolls are very good, served with prepackaged 'honey spread'. The rolls were warm and fluffy, the 'spread' melted nicely.
Adam's first round looked a bit like mine, but with chicken instead of meat loaf. He went for waffle fries at some point as well and green beans and another form of chicken
Angel was still hungry, she had worked outside all day and worked up quite an appetite. I'd worked outside all afternoon, photographing headstones at a local cemetery. Not quite as hard work as what Angel does seven days a week with the dogs, but more outdoor activity for me than I am accustomed to.
I tried everything and was quite satisfied. There was nothing great, nothing even special, but it was all at least pretty good. It was definitely home-style cooking though, no flash, no flair, no fancy seasonings. Just comfort foods prepared like anyone's mother would make. Maybe not my own mother though, she never was much of a cook.

Adam's

Second rounds were slighter, I was really okay with what I'd had and hadn't seen anything on the lines that begged to me to be sampled. I got more lima beans, an even smaller chunk of meatloaf and a few more fried potatoes. Then I saw the apple pie. It looked a little pale but I can almost never refuse apple pie.
Angel's second plate had carrot salad. it's basically coleslaw without cabbage, just carrots, raisins, and a few tiny pineapple chunks. She said it was pretty good, I didn't argue. Adam pushed his green beans aside. He didn't like the way they'd been prepared, with onions or something, he wasn't quite sure exactly.
My meatloaf was okay, kind of like everything else, okay, but just that. The apple pie was hideous though, I
don't know what they did to it, but they did it wrong, completely wrong.
Summary:
I polled the family. Adam: "It's okay."  Angel: "Its no Golden corral."

Angel; round 2

The bill came to forty two dollars and change, not cheap, but not expensive if you factor in the unlimited nature of the buffet. Some people take full advantage, as is evidenced by the girth of many of the patrons. I'm no Twiggy myself, but even my pear shape can't compete with those pros.
There's nothing to get excited about at Ryan's. They do nothing exceptionally well. But they don't poison many people either. It's easy to find better food at most other places, but Ryan's forte is variety. Bring in a finicky family, they'll find something to appease their picky tastes. It won't be the best thing they ever ate, but probably not the worst either, especially if my mother once cooked them something.