Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bobby Munzert’s

Hillsboro, MO

A rare Sunday dinner. We usually go out on Saturday, but couldn’t because of my ride-along with the Sheriff’s department. Angel pimped homeless doggies at Petsmart on Sunday and got home just in time to feed our own flock, clean up and head out with us. It was her week to choose. She said she did not want to experiment, she was too hungry. She wanted to go somewhere close that she knew she could get a good meal. That should tell you something about Munzert’s.   
The Place:
It hadn’t changed much since our last visit. The door opened into the center, smoking section on the left, second-hand smoking on the right. The low October sun shined into the doorway lighting up the haze inside. We were immediately greeted and seated in a booth under a large black and white poster of Audrey Hepburn. There’s lots of pictures of famous dead people in the restaurant. The booth behind us was under one of Marylyn Monroe, who was famous for dying famously. I hear she was found naked, by that I mean without clothing, an apparent suicide. I’ve never been able to figure that out, why so many women, especially famous women, get naked to kill themselves. I think I’d rather be wearing something loose, warm and comfortable, but that’s just me, I don’t exactly have a million-dollar body. I wonder if Mama Cass was found nude? (Actually she did NOT gag on a sandwich, she suffered a heart attack, but still. . .)
Anyway, the place was, as I said, a bit smoky. It was also about half full. There were a couple of TV sets fired up, noisily blasting a baseball game throughout the joint. Some sort of playoff I was able to determine, though I was soon able to ignore it completely.
  Once we were seated the hostess told us that our waitress would be with us shortly, so we casually scanned the menu. The waitress brought us our drinks, tea, sweet tea and Coke/Pepsi, as before served in heavy, stemmed glasses. We decided on an appetizer, teriyaki wings, and placed our order. I decided to have a bacon cheeseburger, and German fries. Angel asked for the fried chicken special with mashed potatoes and green beans, the meal also came with a salad, Angel asked for the Caesar.  Adam opted for the bacon-ranch chicken sandwich and steak fries.  
The waitress was rather busy, busing, taking orders, delivering orders at all the tables in the room. She was the only waitress we saw in the area the whole time we were there.
I sat and stared at the thin rolling haze, illuminated by the sunlight, which also highlighted a thick area of dusty footprints in the entry. This was probably dust from the huge construction site across the road. There’s a very large shopping center going up, construction has been underway since spring. We know the town’s premier department store, Dollar General, is moving and expanding to the new center, we’re not sure what else is planned, though we are genuinely excited about a bigger Dollar General.
The Food:
The appetizer arrived, chicken wings, breaded, fried, then coated with dark, sweet caramelized teriyaki sauce. I don’t usually order wings, except at Hooters. Not that theirs are any good at all, they’re not, it’s just that they are served by young, scantily clad, flirtatious women with prominent breasts. How can you NOT like that?
These were not hot-wings though. Instead they were almost, but not quite sweet, the sauce had been cooked on and the effect was a marvelous crunch on the outside, and tender and moist meat on the inside. They were also quite messy, which, like at Hooter’s is part of the fun. I had two, Angel three, Adam two or three. This left a couple that we would eventually box up and take home.
Angel’s salad arrived, with a roll that she didn’t really want. Adam and I both turned it down as well since we were getting sandwiches. The roll went into the wing-basket. Angel’s salad was small, saucer sized, which for us is optimal. Enough to sate an urgent hunger, but not enough to fill anyone up.
Service was not quick, due primarily to the one-person floor staff being so busy running from table to table. But even with that the wait was not extreme, the main event soon arrived.
Bacon Cheeseburger with German fries
Bobby’s burgers are great. He uses Grade A Angus beef. Angus is a breed of cattle, not a specific body part, so please, no childish jokes about the word ‘Angus’. The Angus breed was created in Scotland in the early 1800’s and remains highly favored because it is naturally polled (which means hornless. Horny cattle can easily and stupidly, savagely injure each other, which is not profitable, so less-horny cattle are more desirable to many ranchers.) They are either solid black or red (the cattle, not the ranchers), with the black being preferred in the U.S.. I don’t know exactly why American’s prefer the black, that seems historically contradictory, but the only other option was red, and history doesn’t exactly show an American affinity for that flesh-tone either.
All I know is this, Angus is mighty tasty. Bobby’s Angus seems leaner than most places that prefer an 80/20 lean/fat ratio. But the meat was thick, tasty, tender and perfectly cooked. I piled onions, lettuce, pickles and tomato on mine. No ketchup or mustard, it just didn’t need any. The German fries are a new favorite of mine. 1/8 inch thin slices of actual potatoes, pan fried to crispness alongside a pile of onions. When served the chopped onion is almost cremated, caramelized and smoky. The potatoes are perfectly crunchy on the outside . . .
Angel’s chicken was cut just like that I had at Kim’s a few weeks back. Four pieces, leg, thigh, breast and head….. Just kidding! It was a leg, thigh, breast and wing. Lightly breaded, very, very hot. Among us, there was not a thing we didn’t love. Angel was absolutely correct in her prediction, Munzert’s always serves good food.
The bill came to thirty seven dollars, less than I had expected. In fact it was a pretty good price for so much food. So much food that none of us finished. All three of us requested a box. I had half a burger left and a third of my German fries, Angel still had a large, untouched breast (I was going to put something really funny here, but decided against it.) and half a thigh. Adam was about halfway through his sandwich and fries as well, though he only boxed the sandwich, something about thick steak fries going limp when microwaved. The waitress had offered dessert, which we once again had to turn down.
Other than the light staffing, I have nothing at all negative at all to say about the meal. It was all properly prepared, tasty, and generous. The waitress was friendly and professional, no mistakes.
There’s a reason Angel chose this place when she wanted a certain excellent meal, Munzert’s delivers.

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1 comment:

  1. Dennis, Love the humor you place in here and sometimes your side stories are quite a surprise - naked dead women when I am expecting a conversation about food. But, hey! That's you. Keep eating!