Oriental Buffet vs. Hibachi Grill

Sometimes comparisons are inevitable.
About a year ago, Hibachi Grill in Festus opened, a mere mile from the Oriental Buffet. We'd been going to the latter for several years, it was small, but they seemed to get the things we like best about right.
When the Hibachi Grill opened, I was worried for the smaller place.
The many Hibachi Grills around the region look the same, large and imposing, with similar interiors styles and offerings, but they are not a franchise outfit. It's more of a shared business model. Each one is independently owned and operated. If there is collusion between them, it apparently happens behind closed doors. All the four or five HG's I'v been to looked, tasted and seemed the same.
OB is, by all appearances also independently owned and operated. It is at the end of a modest strip mall. HG took over a failed Ryan's Steakhouse. A massive free standing building.
HG's have bigger, much bigger, buffet lines. They not only offer Americanized (breaded and fried) Chinese food, which is after all, what we want when we want Chinese, but it also serves a lot of American American things like pizza slices, macaroni, etc. Strip away the non-Chinese serving lines at HG and you'll discover they serve pretty much the same stuff as OB.
HG also caters to big crowds, OB is a bit more intimate, more sit down restaurant like.
So this three day weekend we decided to do a side by side comparison. Was OB holding up despite the Goliath on the nearby hill? Was Hibachi sacrificing quality for quantity?
Let's find out.

Oriental Buffet
774 Truman Blvd
Festus, Mo.

The Place:
At the end of a strip mall Just South of  Highway A. A few years old, but holding up well. The strip mall is anchored by an always busy Aldi's on one end, along with hair places, a big $1 store, the usual stuff.
I noticed walking in that it had not changed much in the year or so since my previous visit. Well lit, nicely decorated, clean and neat. There were the requisite gaudy red, gold and jade objects sitting around, not cluttered though. There were about a dozen tables occupied, maybe 1/3 capacity. This is pretty much the level of occupancy I recall from earlier visits.
We were greeted by a young lady who happily led us to a booth and took our drink orders while we were walking. This proved very efficient since by the time we got to the booth we didn't even bother to sit, we just dropped of our jackets and went straight to the line. I admired the table tops, a large piece of traditional art and calligraphy.
As before, there were a half dozen young people dressed in black pants and white shirts scurrying around the floor, bussing tables, reloading the serving line, refreshing drinks. To my ear they all treated English as very much a second language.
Overhead though, the music was different. It was very low volume, so I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was definitely a western hemisphere key though. Not the exotic Asian key and instruments that I recalled from a previous visit.
The Food:

We pretty much always get the same things at Chinese buffets, to each of us, our own favorites. I spread it out, just a couple of nuggets each of General Tsao and other chickens, Black Pepper, Teriyaki, etc. Some Beef from the broccoli and beef, and some pepper steak, a few standard shrimp, then some noodles and fried rice, and finally a must-have, a Crab Rangoon.
Angel 's plate had some of those things, but also included an egg roll,
chicken on a stick and green beans.
I like those things too, but the egg roll and stick chicken, were, compared to the other things I had, quite large. Adam's plate looked paler. Broccoli, plain rice, and a Chinese doughnut along with his General Tsao's. Adam doesn't care for fried rice because of the little vegetable chunks they put in it.
There was nothing scary or new on my plate, like I said, we all get pretty much the same thing every time. This was going to be a test of quality, taste and freshness of things we knew well, not an experiment. We would very likely be getting very similar things at HG.
I picked an poked around my variety, tore open the rangoon and let the innards melt on my tongue. It was sweeter than at some places, but not bad, barely any crab taste  at all. The wrapper was crispy on the top and sides, but suffered a little under the liquid load on the bottom. The only place we've found that can prevent their bottoms from getting soggy, was at Lucky China in Arnold. Those at Lucky were the best tasting we'd ever had as well. But these were quite acceptable.
Angel immediately remarked on the freshness of the stick chicken. I asked her if it was dry, as they often tend to be and she said that it was actually moist. Then she pointed to the green beans and said they too were fresh and perfectly cooked. I began to notice the same thing. All the meats were tender and moist. None seemed overcooked or suffered from sitting too long in a steamer tray. That's a problem common in many buffets, food that is kept warm often tends to continue cooking and toughen or dry up. This did not seem like that at all. Even the beef strips fell apart with a gentle pull. The only disappointment for me, and it wasn't a big one, was that the noodles were a bit overcooked, but they were tasty. Nothing was too spicy, or too bland or too sweet, the recipes and preparation at OB was solid. For my second round, unlike what I used to do before my stomach shrank, which was to go back and get two or three of my favorite things, I went straight for the dessert round. The desserts I like at Chinese buffets are hardly traditional, I like the bananas in red sauce topped with banana pudding. I noticed they also had Fig Newtons, another thing I'm rather fond of, so I grabbed one of those as well. Angel grabbed a couple more chicken chunks and some more green beans, some shrimp and added a couple of the rangoons. "Rangoons are kind of like dessert." She said. I nodded, they were kind of sweet at OB.
Summary:
Overall we were quite pleased. A little surprised too, that the quality had not suffered since our last visit, and in fact seemed to be improving. The freshness was notable, but also indicative of a well run, successful restaurant, the dining area was very neat, meticulously cleaned and the staff was plentiful and on the job. Empty plates were taken away and tables were bussed, cleaned and prepped very quickly.
The place never really filled up, but those that were there seemed happy and content. The bill came to a modest and predictable thirty four dollars and change.
Not bad, not bad at all.

Hibachi Grill
331 North Creek Dr.
Festus, Mo.

The Place:
Hibachi Grill took over the former Ryan's Buffet about a year ago. It's big place, easily three times bigger than Oriental Buffet. Hibachi Grills are designed and operated to feed a lot of people. Saturday nights the place is usually packed. On those nights it seems almost industrial, like a busy cafeteria.
It too has the gold and red bric-a-brac on shelves. It also has large statues, reminiscent of the famed Terracotta Army. We were greeted by a young man lady who took us back to a booth/table. He too asked about drinks on the way. Once again we didn't even sit, we went straight to the lines. The decor is a bit loud and gaudy, only on a larger scale. The carpet was very dark, worn and industrial, it robbed from the ambiance, making it seem less polished and clean. The tables were not nearly as ornate, plain faux-marble laminate. The Music overhead was more talk than music. It was a radio station pushed by industrial speakers into an acoustically challenged space. Static, poorly equalized noise. The sound bounced around the high ceiling so much that I couldn't make out the actual words very often. Bad idea.
There were, as promised, more serving lines. Hibachi Grill has one thing that OB doesn't, a Mongolian Barbecue station. I've taken advantage of that before, picking my own combination of meats, veg, noodles and sauce. It's hard to go wrong when you pick your own ingredients. I skipped it this visit.
The Food:
Sure enough, even though there were a lot more buffet lines, all three of us picked out pretty much the same
things. I added a thing or two, like a stuffed crab and 'butter shrimp' just to try them, but other than that, some fried rice, noodles, a couple each of several beefs and chickens and a crab rangoon. The rangoons were noticeably smaller, more like won tons. That's not a bad thing, just a style thing. I like them both ways, the big fat ones can be kind of messy. The meats I got were very close to the same selections from OB. General Tsao, pepper, etc. Also the pepper steak and a slug of thin meat from the broccoli and beef.
Angel and Adam pretty much did the same, even though I had not prompted them to do so. Angel had the egg roll, the chicken on a stick, green beans. Along with that she added some cheesy crab dish and some stuffed mushrooms.
Adam had the chicken, the plain rice, the doughnut, and broccoli.
Selection was where the similarities ended.
My fried rice was, for lack of a better word, mushy. Too wet, it doughed up in my mouth. I can't really comment on the taste since the texture was too off-putting to notice. The noodles were better cooked than at OB but there wasn't any real flavor to them. The chickens, as I had feared, seemed tough and dry, the beef chewy. The rangoon wrapper was not crisp, but not soggy either, sort of stale, very much like chewing on a business card. Once again the texture was enough of a deficit that I can't really speak to the taste.
The extras, the stuffed crab was inedible. The taste was weird, I can't put my finger on it, but once again it was the texture that really killed it. It was gritty, like they sprinkled about a tablespoon of fine sand in with the stuffing. The butter shrimp was neither buttery or shrimp-y. It looked
like salad shrimp with a crust of some kind, but it came out more greasy breading than anything. The green peppers in the sauces all looked pale and seemed a bit tough. the General's chicken was the only thing, other than the real shrimp, that I finished on this plate.
Angel commented the the stick chicken was dry and tough. She admitted that things didn't seem as fresh. Adam shrugged his shoulders.
They were confused. They had eaten there just a week before, without me since I worked that weekend, and said that meal was just fine, much better than this. It wasn't just one or two things, she said.

I made a second run, mostly because I hadn't wanted to eat most of what was on my first plate. I saw some chicken I'd missed before, something called 'Hibachi Chicken' with a green pepper and sauce topping. I also grabbed anther Rangoon to see if the previous one had just been a dud. I hadn't asked Angel about the cheesy crab, so I got a little of that. Then I went ahead and stepped up to the dessert line and plopped down some bananas in . . . . wait a minute, is that sauce . . . orange? Oh well, I topped it with some banana pudding. Just like before.
Angel picked up a few things too, including a stuffed shrimp and some chocolate pudding.
The cheesy crab was awful. It tasted fishy, and not in that good way. The chicken was pretty good though, a little fresher and more tender than the others. Still, the peppers were pale and tough. Overall the best chicken offering that evening. The previous rangoon had not been a fluke, this one too was stale. The red/orange sauce was a little odd, but not terrible, the good news is that the banana pudding was very good, more like the old fashioned kind mom used to make before instant pudding was invented. More vanilla wafers, layered, as well. Angel commented that her pudding was better here as well.
Summary:
The bill came in at a slightly higher thirty nine dollars vs. thirty four, not really enough to squirm about. The service was at least as efficient, plates disappeared quickly. The tea was old, like OB's so no winner there. It should be pretty plain from this review, the whole ordeal was a bit disappointing.

Conclusion:
Well it probably seems clear at this point, and in fact it was unanimous consent, that Oriental Buffet was the winner of this round, by a large margin.
I said 'this round' though. Adam and Angel truly seemed baffled about the fact that they could not believe the difference between the two week-apart meals they'd had at Hibachi. Thinking about it, I had a hunch. We went to Oriental Buffet on a Saturday. Hibachi Grill on a Monday. As I mentioned earlier, on Saturday nights the place is usually packed. On this visit, there was no competition with crowds, a lot of empty tables between diners. HG's food was not being turned as quickly and was sitting much longer than on a Saturday. Hibachi has a lot more food offerings, though a great deal of it is American food, meat loaf, pizza, grilled steak, macaroni and cheese, etc. the kitchen has a lot more work to do to turn out that big variety. Whereas OB concentrates on a much smaller range of food and can tend to that and make more frequent and smaller batches.
So the moral of the story is that if you want to go to Hibachi Grill, go there when it is really busy. Oriental Buffet on the other hand is more consistent exactly because it serves fewer things to fewer people.

Epilouge:
After the meal on Saturday, we had to stop on the way home to give witness statements to the Festus Police and the Highway Patrol. We had stopped at an intersection yielding to oncoming traffic, unlike the guy in the Jeep in front of us. He got slammed by a big pickup going full on through his solid green light. The poor kid in the pickup told me after I called 911 and checked on the drivers, that this was his dad's truck as his own had been stolen earlier in the week. (sad) No one was injured, just two vehicles totaled and a mess of fluids, glass and plastic bits all over the roadway.
On Monday as we got to the Hibachi Grill, as I usually do, I stepped out of the car to take a photo of the signage. I took two as the first one was a bit distant. After we had our disappointing meal we stepped back out to the vast, but mostly empty parking lot to see that the SUV's passenger door, my door, was standing open. Yeah, I'd been so eager about the photo that I forgot to close the door. Nothing was stolen or damaged, just a little embarrassing. I only mention it at all because Angel said I had to mention it or she'd sue me or something. She mumbled something about all the previous times I'd pointed out silly and embarrassing things she's done, though  I don't recall ever doing that.

Hibachi Buffet

331 North Creek Drive

Festus, Mo

My daughter, Leslye,  was in town, along with her brood of three, Ashton 15, Caprice, 12 and Kinley, 2.

I saw my daughter last a year ago, she flew in for my father's funeral. The kids though, I hadn't seen in several years. We'd tried, we'd planned, but one thing after another, life, reality, just  kept it form happening. Seattle's  a long and expensive trek, no matter how you do it.

Rather than try to figure out in advance what groceries to have on hand and what meals to plan for kids of that age range, we decided that we'd keep small meal and snack stuff at the house and have our dinners out. That way they could figure it out for themselves.

And what better place for diverse choices than a Chinese Buffet?

The Place:

The Hibachi buffet in Festus just opened

a few months back. We went shortly after it opened and it fared pretty well. So this would work as a followup, a review now that the place has had time to settle into its stride.

There's been a bit of Hibachi-hate in the local internet discussions, I found little of actual substance or detail in those remarks, but kept my nose up just in case.

Word had spread that the Springfield, Mo. Hibachi, not owned or operated by the same people though similar in almost every way, had been shut down for a few days by that city's health inspectors.

It happens. Back when I lived in Sprangburg my favorite Chinese places occasionally got shut down, not really that big of a deal. The inspectors find something, wrong, they close for a few days, fix the problem, then open back up. This sort of thing, especially considering the often relatively minor infractions, should not alarm any but the most squeamish of diners.

GM recalls a half billion autos, but people keep buying the things, right? (said the man who recently got rid of his Chevy coupe in favor of a small German sedan.)

The Festus location had not been shut down since it opened, but still the underworld whispered of misdeeds.

The place used to be a Ryan's American buffet and not a very good one. Since the Hibachi folks redecorated it, it looks cleaner and more up to date than it did at Ryan's peak.

It is big, and busy.

I rode with my daughter, who recently got rid of her Japanese import in favor of a newer Japanese import. It still scares me to ride in a car that she's driving, even though she's been driving for many years and in fact had driven in from Seattle. Some irrational father-fears just never go away.

Adam and Ashton rode with Angel in her big, fully operational, non-recalled Chevy SUV. It did not explode, all its pieces and parts stayed in place.

The place was busy, but only about half. No waiting.

Leslye was immediately impressed by the size of the buffet lines. She's accustomed to more modest buffets as are more typical in her home area as opposed to the giant feeding troughs favored here in the Midwest.

We were shown to a large table and we rattled off our drink orders. The kids wanted pop, the adults ordered tea. Angel asked for sweet tea, I asked for "Unsweet tea, no sugar." which interestingly enough, baffled the server. It was like I'd given her a math problem. I had to repeat it. I enjoyed this so much I used the line again at a restaurant a couple of days later. (Sorry Steak and Shake!)

Sometimes I amuse myself.

The Food:

The kids knew their way around a buffet, the size of the lines did not deter them, especially Caprice. She found all the sugar coated pastries in a hurry. That and frog legs.

Yeah, a city girl wanted to try frog legs. Bold move, I don't even like the things, but I'd challenged her earlier. She's proud, precocious and stubborn enough to not back out of a challenge.

I decided to go through the Mongolian line. Noodles and veggies and a little meat, one egg and teriyaki sauce please.

I watched as the grill maestro deftly scooted, chopped and flipped the orders. I like this interactive theater. I even stuffed a single or two into the tip jar. It was either that or jump up and down clapping, which didn't seem to match my otherwise sober, stoic and macho persona.

I was the last one back to the table, which already looked like a small twister had blown through. I tend to forget how messy kids can be.

Kinley was picking at sticky fists full of food, Ashton, much like his uncle Adam, smart, head down, serious and tended toward more standard, dare I say bland, offerings. Caprice was all over the map. High energy, very chatty, engaging and funny, she danced through several plates of stuff. Five feet tall, about forty pounds soaking wet, it didn't seem to matter that her plates carried virtually nothing with any positive nutritional value.

"It tastes like chicken!" she said of the frog legs."

"They've got two dozen different chicken offerings here, if you wanted to eat something that tasted like chicken, why would you get something that isn't chicken but tastes exactly like it?" I asked. She didn't answer, she just gave me a funny look. That happened a lot over the four days they were with us.

My Mongolian was excellent. I like a good, savory noodle and I like grilled onions and bell peppers, plenty of them. I'd snagged a couple of rangoons as well, I'm reluctant to call them 'Crab Rangoons'  since I don't recall ever coming across any crab, or even krab in the things. Thin dough wrappers encasing a dollop of cream cheese, deep fried and crispy, good enough for me.
Everyone went back for second rounds, Caprice came and went more times than I could count.

My second plate had a spoonful of rice, another rangoon and dessert, cheese cake and bananas with red sauce. I also sampled some 'Japanese Chicken' because Angel said it was good. It was.

Summary:

The food was quite good, the place was clean. The tables, floor and even serving areas were from my vantage point, spotless. Les even said the restrooms were tidy. No one had a complaint, everybody was gorged, the buffet lines remained stocked and constantly refreshed and most importantly, the servers said nothing about the carnage on the table and floor around the kids. The price was reasonable, about ten bucks per head for those twelve and over, I couldn't convince Caprice (Almost 13!!) to lie about her age, and a bit less for the toddler.

I saw no reason to be concerned about the place at all. No one got sick, no one complained, everyone found plenty of stuff to match their appetites. 

So even after a few months of operation, the Hibachi Buffet is staying the course, offering reasonably priced, decent quality food in a safe, clean environment.
My daughter liked it, her kids  liked it, what else do you need? It's good!

Hibachi Buffet

331 North Creek Drive
Festus, MO








 Finally! After Months of waiting, Hibachi Buffet opened it's doors on Friday, March 7. If you follow this blog regularly, which you certainly should, you would know that I think this place is a game changer for Festus.
The Place:
Last year Ryans's Buffet abruptly shut down several locations. Within a very short time there were local news reports indicating that Hibachi was taking over the Ryan's location. It's a big place, perfect for their needs.
There are Hibachi's all over the area, even in Springfield, Mo. However they are not a franchise. Each one is independently owned and operated. They do all dutifully follow a business model, layout and and I believe, recipes. Thus they offer pretty much the same things.
Part of that business model is to go big, and invest heavily in classy decor, at least for the entrance. Mural sized stone engravings, crystal-like lighting that shifts colors, large statues, etc. You can tell that there's a huge initial investment in these places.
The entryway was large, it needed to be. When we got there, there was a line. By the time we finished, there was still a line.
Which I found interesting.
Hibachi has almost zero web presence. I have been checking the local paper for updates every week, nothing. On those occasions that I was in Festus, I would look up at the hill and see a sign, 'Coming Soon.'
It was only because Angel went by on Friday that we knew it had finally opened.
It's a big place, and it was packed, and lined up for more.
We're talking hundreds of people on the second night, just in the hour we spent there, with no advertising in any form, other than a 'Grand Opening March 7.' sign in front of the place, along with colorful pennants, like car lots use.
Other restaurateurs probably drool at that sort of prospect. The geniuses behind Hibachi know this area well.  They know exactly what people around here want and they know that don't have to waste money advertising to draw them in.
You pay up front, there are no options other than drink choice. The line moved pretty well, we stepped up. "How many, two?" the lady asked. "Three." Angel replied.
We ordered our drinks, tea, lemonade and Pepsi and waited at  the 'Wait here to be seated counter." Another lady approached, looked at Angel and asked "Two of you?"
"Three" Angel answered.
"Which one of us can they not see?"  I asked. Angel snickered. "You're invisible this evening."
I get that a lot. People at work constantly tell me I sneak up on them. That's me, Mr. Cellophane.*
The place, as I said, was packed. I did notice that there was plenty of staff on hand though, things moved efficiently.
Six or seven steamer lines, aromatic and colorful, paper lanterns were suspended overhead. We were seated at a table and became one group among dozens of others.
The Food:
I decided to do something a little different this time. I went for the Mongolian Grill. There's a couple of places near work that offer these, I've learned to really like them. Offered are raw ingredients. Onions, peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, mushrooms, etc. Then there are three or four kinds of thin sliced frozen meats. You take a bowl and mix and match in any combination you like, add some noodles, grab an egg if you want to, and hand the bowl to one of the three or four cooks. They stand around a large round grill. They pour some oil on the grill then plop the stuff in your bowl straight on it. At this location you name your sauce ahead of the grilling. Warning though, if you don't know which of the sauces you want, you would be wise to go with something you recognize. Unlike other places I've been, this place doesn't explain them. I chose 'Mongolian'. Others included Soy Sauce and Teriyaki.
It only takes a few minutes, these guys are good at what they do. They flip it, stir it and slide it onto a plate. My plate was simple. Noodles, onions, green onions, chicken, and peppers, plus one egg. These are things I like. Thus at this station, all the cooks do is heat up what you hand them. If you can handle this sort of pressure, you control the ingredients, portions and seasoning.
On the way to the table I grabbed a couple of  cheese wontons, the closest thing to a Rangoon that I could find. I needed a little crunch with my noodles. The Mongolian sauce is not spicy or hot, it's mild and savory. They offer hotter versions, but like I said, be careful.
Angel and Adam had gone the more traditional route picking many of their familiar favorites. Chicken, shrimp, pot stickers, among them. Adam had plain rice and some broccoli (blech!) and some sweet and sour chicken.
I ate most of my noodles, they were pretty darn good, but I stopped when I realized I needed to sample some of the line offerings. I got up and went around the lines, picking out very small portions of proteins and what the heck, a couple more of those cheese Rangoons. About five or six forms of chicken, then some shrimp. I picked up a pot sticker as well, Angel said they were good.
There was pineapple chicken, bourbon chicken, pepper chicken, and another, I think. The pineapple was sweet, like pineapple, but it also had some kind of pepper on it, maybe chili, and I didn't find that very pleasing. The pot sticker had too much ginger for my tastes, and the bourbon chicken tasted like formaldehyde. All in all I found no real winners in the lot. None of them were really bad, they were all fresh-cooked, but the sauces and seasonings just didn't score very high with my taste buds.
And yes, everything was fresh cooked, you could tell. That much turnover means the cooks must be machines, constantly turning out fresh batches of everything, especially the battered and fried proteins.
I noticed when I sat down that I didn't have any fried rice. Odd, I always get a little fried rice, must have missed it. I mentioned it to Angel and she looked at her own plate. "Hmm, I didn't see any." She said.
I picked through the meats, and had a little more of my noodles. I was nearly full, but I couldn't imagine going to a Chinese buffet and not having bananas in red sauce.
So I made another round.
No bananas in red sauce. This made me sad.

So instead I looked for the fried rice. Found it, it was labeled 'Veggie Fried Rice.' and it was No.2 pencil-yellow. I scooped some up anyhow, just a tasting. I then went back to the dessert line and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
My cube-neighbor, Doug,  the fastest human eater alive, had a big bag of home-made chocolate chip cookies on his desk all week. He offered them to everyone telling us to just come by and grab one. I didn't. I stared at those things, smelled them occasionally all week, but never caved to the temptation. However I did think about them often.
So when I saw chocolate chip cookies available on my cheat meal, yeah, I took one. It was overcooked, a little dry, not moist and gooey like those Doug had at work, but I still enjoyed it.
the rice was well cooked, but underwhelming in taste, it barely had any.
Summary:
When I polled the family, the answer I got was good to pretty good, but no rave reviews for anything in

particular. I liked the Mongolian noodles, but no more than other places I've had them. I never found a chicken variety that I would want again, but I hadn't tried them all.
The place was very well staffed, our drinks were refilled regularly and empty plates taken away quickly. I have to say the food was not really that much better than other places. But the variety was much greater. It is simply not possible to not find some things that are to your liking.
This place is indeed genius. Some towns absolutely love their huge buffets. Back when it was Ryan's, there was never, ever a shortage of customers. That place failed for other reasons, not for lack of patrons. It is easy to make fun of the piggish qualities of Midwestern, small town people. However, though certainly not true about all of them, or arguably most of them, there is a valid reason for that stereotype. Go to a place like Ryan's or Golden Corral, or Hibachi and yes indeedy, you'll certainly see quite a few people that end up getting photographed later at Walmart. You know what I'm talking about.
I've said it before, Americanized Chinese food is not health food. It is no better for you, in any measure, than pizza or cheeseburgers. So yes, you can overdo it at these all-you-can-eat places, very, very easily.
The tea was mediocre at best, I'll give it a plus one, simply because it wasn't old. A place like this probably has to be constantly making tea as well, so it doesn't have time to grow stale and bitter.
The price was downright dangerous.$10.39 per adult during dinner hours. For that low amount you can easily find enough of something you like and gorge yourself to the point of exploding. A bargain.
So yeah, the people behind this place are brilliant. They know the area, they know what people want and they know how to provide it. This definitely changes the game in Festus.
Oh by the way... HaPpY BiRtHdAy Suzi!!!!

______________________________

*'Mr. Cellophane' is a song from the musical 'Chicago.' A lament  about being a plain, ordinary man that no one ever seems to notice.

Oriental Buffet

774 S. Truman Rd.
 Crystal City, Mo.

 Once Angel gets 'Chinese Food' in her head, the discussion is pretty much over. It's a craving of a strength like none other, much like the shaved ice she craved back when she was gestating. Also, it rarely gets objected to anyhow, we like us some good Chinese food, especially a buffet. We like the Oriental Buffet just fine. It's not the best in the world, or the country, the state or even the region, but it is closer than any other decent place. There is a change in the wind though, one that motivated us to go to OB as soon as possible.
A few months back Ryan's Steak House and Buffet abruptly shut its doors. A few weeks later there was an announcement that Hibachi Grill was going to build a buffet in Ryan's massive building. There are even banners out, flapping in the wind on the hill above Highway A. The old Ryan's location is less than a half mile from the Oriental Buffet.
There are a lot of  Hibachi Grills in the region, even one down in Springfield, the Queen City of the Ozarks. All Hibachi grills are pretty much exactly alike. It is not a franchise  though, it's more of a business model. Each one, though independently owned and operated, is almost identical to the others. First they are HUGE. They offer traditional Chinese buffet items, and sushi, and a Mongolian Barbecue area. The food there is pretty good and the variety is mind blowing. They are the big-box store version of the Chinese buffet.
We are a little worried about the smaller place, the OB. Will they be able to survive the new big Bertha literally in it's very shadow? I don't know. But we thought we'd go to OB now, just in case it got swallowed up.
The Chinese invented lots of things that other cultures have adopted as their own. Pasta, paper, gun powder, the wooden coffin, paper currency, the fire drill, to name a few. They did not invent the buffet.
You'll never guess who did.... go ahead, guess!
Annnnnd, you're wrong. The correct answer is 'Sweden'. The Swedish also invented ABBA. So they are plenty clever people, those pale and chilly Swedes. The word smorgasbord is Swedish in origin, and described an open table of food and adult beverages, a lot of adult beverages, popular starting in the 1600's. The rest of Europe picked up on the Swedish sensation, the smorgasbord, not ABBA, or 'side board' aka 'buffet' (a French word for the table on which the food and beverages were served)  in the 1800's as railroads started connecting all those little unimportant and snooty European countries and cities. Feeding travelers in this manner was much more efficient than seating them all, cooking for and then waiting on them individually.*
I've never been to a Swedish Buffet though, have you? I have had the little gravy covered meatballs they serve at Ikea, but not in buffet form. I'm not sure what would even be on a Swedish buffet, maybe those meatballs, several kinds of disgusting dried and salted or fermented fish, like their gravlax, and maybe some potato soup and lingonberry jam. Hmmm.  I think the American palette would largely prefer Chinese. Except for maybe my loyal fan Suzi. I think she swings toward more Nordic tastes.
So even though the Chinese did not invent the buffet, nor ABBA, they did perfect the former. Sure they had to fuss with it a little to suit the fickle American tastes, but they have done a fine job at that. What they did was to Americanize some of their own dishes. By that I mean they wrapped it in dough or batter and deep fried or pan fried nearly everything. You haven't noticed that? Silly, gullible Americans.
Chinese food, wontons, rangoons, egg rolls, dozens of different kinds of chicken and pork, (even their rice is fried) offered in an all-you-can-eat, heart clogging buffet, pretty much indistinguishable from carnival food.
But man, is it tasty! Just don't kid yourself that it's somehow healthier than a burger with fries, it's certainly not.
The Place:
A simple, clean and adequately sized place in a strip mall. It is decorated with the requisite jade objects and bright colors. The overhead music was too loud as well as awful. I'm not sure of the name for the genre. It started with 'Sealed With a Kiss' that terrible, dirge-like, un-killable and ubiquitous prom song from the early 70's. Followed by a female cover of Simon and Garfunkel's  'Scarborough Fair' ( 'Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.' ) and the Carpenter's 'Yesterday Once More' ("Every sha-la-la-la, Every wo-o-wo-o, still shines, Every shing-a-ling-a-ling, that they're startin' to sing's, so fine.")  Arrrrgh!
The only good thing possible about music like this was that back in High School it gave you a chance to thoroughly grope your date's soft and round parts during what was known as a 'slow-dance'. Slow dancing in high school is really just making out in public while clumsily swaying from foot to foot. If it were actually dancing we'd see it on DWTS, wouldn't we?
The more I think of it, pretty much all dancing is sexual, some of it, like the Tango, even overtly so. But if that's what it takes for a guy to be able to legally feel up a girl, then so be it. My general observation is that women really, really don't like touching, or being touched by men. That's been my experience anyhow. Which is sad really, because anyone who really knows me, knows that I'm a cuddler.
The Food:
It's a buffet. they offer scores, maybe hundreds of items, mostly breaded, dough wrapped and fried. Everyone's got their own favorites, I got mine.
We were escorted to a table, we ordered our drinks without even sitting down, then ran toward the lines. Usually I sample lots of things, I decided not to this night. I went straight to the known likes. Fried rice, fried noodles, three kinds of breaded fried chicken, (different spiciness levels)  rangoons, pan fried pepper steak and some 'butter shrimp' which were the only non-fried items on my plate.
Angel did pretty much the same, but just to be ornery, added some green things, broccoli and asparagus.(blech!) Adam filled his plate with sweet and sour chicken, breaded and deep fried chicken nuggets covered in a neon-red sauce.
We all made second runs, my next and final plate though only sported the seventh best dessert mash-up in the world, banana pudding and bananas covered in that mysterious, viscous red sauce found only at Chinese buffets.
I love Chinese food, even though little of the stuff I like is authentic Chinese. I've tried actual Chinese food, it's awful. Fish heads, tree bark and pickled pigs eyes, no thanks. Give me some of that carnival food. They even offer chicken on a stick. What could be more American than food on a stick?
Summary:
"Perfectly acceptable." I declared. Adam said he completely agreed. Angel added "Very filling"  which it is, because it's mostly breaded and fried, like funnel cake and corn dogs.
The price was a very reasonable thirty four dollars, not bad at all for all you can eat.
I have no idea how this perfectly adequate and nice little place will fare once the monster on the hill opens. I hope they continue to do okay, but my intuition says they will not. Hibachi Grill is a mega-plex of Chinese food. They offer more, if not necessarily better. They are very efficient, clean, inexpensive and well staffed. The little guys nearby may not stand a chance.
Oh, the tea. It was awful, it always is, weak, bland, tasteless. I'll give it a -3 on the PJTea scale



_____________________
* The author tried to contact a Swedish authority, Agnetha Faltskog, also know as the blonde chick from ABBA, for verification of this information. Unfortunately, she has yet to respond to the hundreds of calls and letters I've sent over the years.

Oriental Buffet

774 Truman Blvd.
Crystal City, Mo.

The Place, The Food, Summary:
Sometimes the weekend sneaks up on us and we find ourselves unprepared. This past weekend was that exactly. None of us had given the task much thought. This is a bad situation in our house since between the three of us, there are no type-A decision makers. Or type B, or maybe even C or D. Getting any of us to come up with something on our own that we confidently think will appeal to everyone else is nothing short of miraculous.
There are a couple of places that require no thought at all and will usually be agreed upon quickly. Oriental Buffet is one of those places.
We've been there several times, so I'll keep this short.
It has two things going for it right out of the gate. First it's a buffet, everybody gets something they like. Secondly, it's nearby. There are bigger and/or better buffets, but none anywhere near as close.
So we drove there, went in, ordered our drinks, tea, Diet Coke and Coke, and headed for the lines.
I didn't have to sample things, I know what is good and not so good here. So I plopped down some noodles, a couple of the chickens, General Tsao and black pepper style, some pepper beef, a rangoon,  some shrimp and a pot sticker.
Angel had some seafood, an egg roll and some mushrooms, rice and some kind of chicken. Adam went for the standard, white rice and sweet/sour chicken.
Two fails in front of me. The tea, probably the worst in town and the pot sticker. This is not a news flash, I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before. This time the dumplings were rubbery, like ill-prepared calamari.
Most of the rest of the stuff was pretty good. Not great, fantastic or phenomenal, just pretty good.
We all finished round one about the same time,  I thought about seconds, didn't want much, so I decided just to hit the dessert line. I got what I usually get, the bananas and red sauce over some banana pudding. It was fine, though since I've backed off sugar consumption lately it tasted good but it unsettled my tummy and my general outlook on life, which probably reflects in the darker - ho-hum tone of this review . Not the food's fault per se, it's my stupid changing (deliberately) metabolism that is growing increasingly intolerant of sugar and a few other things. So it's not really a bad thing either.
'Or-Buff' is fine. Since it is a buffet it's hard to complain since everybody tailors their own plates and portions. Something doesn't win you over, you just skip it and get something else. This makes buffets very hard to rate against other places, so I can only compare it to other buffets. Of all the buffets in the greater St. Louis Metro region, Oriental Buffet in Crystal City is certainly one of them.
Thirty four dollars and change, for those of you keeping score.

Golden Corral

6110 S Lindbergh Blvd
Saint Louis, MO 63123
 We had to head up to Webster Groves to pick up some dogs. Since we were going to be in the burbs anyhow we thought we'd compare One American style buffet to another. A few weeks ago we ate at Ryan's in Festus and had very little nice to say about it. Well, someone at Ryan's corporate office must have read that review, or maybe there were business reasons that have nothing to do at all with my lackluster remarks, but last week They closed the Ryan's in Festus as well as the one further south in Farmington. No reason was actually given in the newspaper account we saw.
So off we headed to the outer rim of St. Louis, on South Lindbergh near the big mall. This area is a big deal for shoppers. All the big box stores are there alongside the mall and that is surrounded by dozens of car lots. There are many restaurants nearby as well. This particular Golden Corral is enormous. It is also always busy. We've passed it up in the past due to the line of people waiting to get in. Angel said we had plenty of time to wait. I almost doubted her though as right ahead of us a school bus was spitting out teenagers by the dozens. I noticed the bus was from Madison County Kentucky.
Cool, I thought, I'm from Kentucky too! Of course Kentucky has one hundred and twenty counties, many of them I have no idea where are without a map. This was one of those.
Kentucky is diverse, there are in my mind at least three completely distinct and identifiable regions, as different from each other as can be in a single state. There's the Appalachian region in the east, this is where Kentucky's hillbillies and feuding families are and where everyone seems to think of when I tell them I'm from the commonwealth. I'm not from there. Then there's the Lexington/Louisville/Frankfort/Covington (South Cincinnati) region which is also where all of the horse activity is, the bluegrass area in the northern and central part of the hump. I'm not from there either.
Then there's the unheard-of nether regions, well south and west of the mountains and coal mines, way southwest of the urban areas and pristine horse ranches. The skinnier western part of Kentucky is famous for pretty much nothing. That is where I'm from, Trigg County. Madison County is up near Lexington. This means I actually know very little about it. Growing up where I did, Louisville/Lexington were several hours away, whereas Nashville was a little over an hour to the south. Most of our big city needs were managed down there rather than to the distant northeast. I only recall going to Louisville a couple of times, and Lexington once or twice in  my whole childhood. Our TV was from Nashville, the big hospitals were there as well.
Madison County, as it turns out is the county where Daniel Boone built his famous fort/town. I'd never been there. In southern Madison county, near Berea, is a community called Farristown. This is where the busload of kids was from, here for an an archery competition. (I asked one of the weary chaperones). They'd not heard of Trigg County either.
The Place:
We were in line behind them. All of them. They were easy to pick out, all wearing gray event tee shirts. None of them looked anything like Katniss Everdeen, but they weren't toothless, banjo-pickin' hillbillies either.
We indeed waited but not for as long as I feared we might. Golden Corral operates like a bustling, well oiled assembly line. The front staff carried two-way radios and were constantly checking and clearing the tables as people left.
You order your drinks and pay at the front. Then soon thereafter a floor person ushers you to a table about a quarter mile away. No need to sit first, just  set the drinks down and start the carnage.
The Food:

My first round.

The variety at the Corral is spectacular.  Pizza, pasta, steak, a dozen varieties of chicken and beef, fried roasted, spicy, southern-style. There is a soup bar, a salad bar, a Chinese section, and Italian section, a 'bakery' and a dessert bar that includes a chocolate fountain.
I was timid at first, taking very small portions of just a few things since I was looking forward to what might pop up around the corner. The first plate at this place should be a scouting mission as much as a main course.

Angel's protein plate

I sampled some sesame chicken, meatloaf, green bean casserole, mac and cheese, black eyed peas and a fist sized roll. If you look at it the roll looks enormous, it was, but it was very light and fluffy, mostly air. It probably contained no more actual bread than a regular slice of bread. I added a couple of tablespoons of mashed potatoes and a little gravy. Angel and Adam had beaten me to the table. Angel had about thirty kinds of chicken, mostly wings. She was in the mood for meat, that happens occasionally. Adam had chicken, of course and a huge pile of mashed potatoes. He also got one of the warm, fluffy rolls.

Adam's chicken and taters.

 I was quite impressed, everything was pretty good. It all seemed fresh and well prepared. There were no actual disappointments on my plate. I'm not a huge green bean casserole guy, but this stuff was actually pretty good. The taters were fluffy and not over-salted. The meat loaf was cooked perfectly, with just enough caramelized red sauce (ketchup) to taste pretty authentic. The mac and cheese tasted like name-brand mac and cheese, the sauce thick and creamy.
 I was taking longer so the other two got up after a while, uttering nothing but good things about their meals. Angel noted that she liked the casserole as well.

Angel's seafood round.

Her second round was seafood themed. Fried fish and chowder and something called 'okra' which looked and smelled like a slimy mollusk or mussel of some kind, though she insisted it was a vegetable. Sure, whatever.
Adam came back with more chicken, something he was quite happy with. 'Bourbon Chicken' he called it. Angel said she'd liked it as well.
My second round included chili. They had a big steaming, meaty pot of it at the soup bar. I found a bowl and spoon and ladled in just a little bit. I was almost full and didn't want to waste a lot, I just wanted to taste it. I spotted some cheesy garlic biscuits, the bourbon chicken, a small fried chicken leg and apple pie. Just a little of each.
The chili was quite good, a little sweeter than Wendy's but otherwise quite similar. I like Wendy's chili a lot.

My eclectic second (last) round.

The pie was pretty good, but not awesome. The bourbon chicken was smoky and lightly sweet. I agreed with Adam and Angel, pretty darn good. The roll was similar to Red Lobster's but maybe a little heavier. All of the food was quite satisfying. The only disappointment around the table was that the lady guarding the chocolate fountain would not let Angel dunk her gummy bears. We don't know why, it's apparently just some sort of arbitrary fascist policy.
 Summary:
I started this week's review by saying it would be a comparison of the now-closed Ryan's to this place. Though they offered similar fare, there was hardly a comparison other than that. The Corral had more variety and all of the food was prepared just a little better. Often at Ryan's there were throw-always, things that looked good but didn't quite measure up. I had essentially the same food at the Corral that I'd recently had at Ryan's. The winner was clear, it wasn't even close. We paid almost exactly the same, just under forty five dollars, but the quality difference was night and day. Adam spoke highly of the quality and variety as well, that says a lot. I won't miss Ryan's much, the Corral is a slightly longer drive, but not prohibitively so. The archers of Farristown seemed pleased as well, they were still lining up for seconds and thirds as we left.


 

Lam's Garden: Take-out

510 Bailey Rd.
Crystal City, Mo

Pizza Hut Supreme

Those of you that pay attention to such things might have noticed that there was not an update last week. That is due entirely to the fact that this blogging thing does not pay as well as you might think, which means I have a day job. That job occasionally requires me to work weekends, and this is why for this week, and last week, I was not able to go out with my family.
I was able to work from home, but I had appointed tasks during the dinner hours, so I had to stay put.

Pizza Hut Hot wings

Last week we picked up a couple of pizzas from Pizza Hut in Desoto. We picked up two large pizzas, a Supreme for Angel and I and a black olive and pepperoni for Adam. He doesn't like most ingredients. They also picked up some hot wings.
As I worked I munched on a couple of slices and enjoyed it thoroughly. Even better was Sunday brunch, leftover pizza, reheated.
I didn't try the wings, no  point really since the whole hot-wing thing is wasted on me. I've tried several and just have yet to see what the fuss is about. They're incredibly messy, too spicy, and there's not a lot of meat for the mess. Angel and Adam both said they were excellent though.
The pizza was very good. Plenty of toppings, spread out nicely, crust browned and just starting to crisp. There may be better pizzas around, but for taste, texture, price and location, Pizza Hut is our go-to.
This weekend was a little trickier. I suggested we have Chinese take out.
The Place:
Lam's Garden is behind Dairy Queen in Crystal city. We've gone there a few times, you can see the reviews in the archives.
The Food:

Tsao's (left) and Chicken peppersteak

My only real problem with Lam's is that I prefer a buffet when it comes to Chinese food, and Lam's is not a buffet. I like lots of different things Chinese, but strongly prefer to have a little of several things as opposed to a lot of only one thing.
There is a way around this though, take-out-family style.

Sesame Chicken

Adam ordered what he wanted most, the sesame chicken, Angel ordered what she likes best, the cashew chicken (Springfield style) They also ordered the beef broccoli to share.  I asked for two different things. I like the chicken pepper steak and I like the General Tsao. I didn't care for a lot of either, I prefer a little of one and a little of the other for balance. The pepper steak style is served with a beef-stock like sauce, like gravy, and the Tsao is sweet and spicy. They balance nicely.
Each of the orders came with rice and egg rolls or rangoons.
Angel and Adam fetched the food and brought it home. By the time they arrived I was done with my work, so I got to enjoy it at a leisurely pace. We popped open the boxes, all different stuff and voila! Instant buffet.

Cashew Chicken (pre-sauce)

We each loaded a plate with combinations of stuff, just like at a real buffet.
Most of Lam's offerings are better than their local buffet equivalent. So not only was it a buffet, it was like a premium buffet.
I plopped some rangoons, half an egg roll three styles of chicken, sesame, Tsao's and the pepper steak, then a generous portion of rice. To make it even better I used one of my Japanese plates I bought off of Ebay a few years back.

Beef Broccoli

The chickens were all excellent. The Tsao's was spicy but not too much so. The pepper steak was savory and had large scrumptious portions of peppers and onions that mixed well with the rice. The rice itself was a little bland, it lacked brightness. There were veggies mixed in, but their taste was indistinguishable from the rice itself. Shoving the pepper steak veggies into the pile fixed that problem. The rangoons were thickly loaded but in transport had lost a little crispness. The egg roll was better than many places, but not outstanding. Like the rice, the filling in the roll tasted only one flavor deep. The sesame chicken was pretty sweet, but since I only had a little it also balanced well. Usually in one-item Chinese restaurants I avoid sesame chicken to avoid the sugar high a full plate of the stuff will induce, this amount was perfect.
As I filled up on mine, I heard grunts and groans of pleasure from the others. We all agreed that this was pretty darn good.
Summary:

The result, my pretty plate!

 Lam's makes very good food and serves generous portions. Every dish is a little better than you'll find at most typical buffets, at least locally.
We ordered a lot of food and certainly paid a little more than we would have at a buffet. HOWEVER! We got about two meals each for that price, (Sunday brunch again) buffet's don't allow you to take home leftovers.
The price wasn't really all that bad, all that food for under forty dollars.
I wish their rice and egg rolls were a little better, a little fresher. I'm sure they know how to do that, but I imagine they make big batches rather than to-order. That's what it seems like in taste anyhow. We've certainly figured out how to do this though. The home-buffet was perfect, plenty of choices, of good quality Chinese fare.
I love Lam's now that I know I don't have to actually go there.