China King

412 N. Main
DeSoto, Mo.
On Facebook


I crowd-sourced this choice. (I asked people on a social network group to recommend a place).
This was not a gimmick though, I really wanted input and I figured, who better to ask than a group called "If you grew up in Desoto, Mo., you might remember . . . "  I didn't grow up there but I joined the group for historical reasons. . . history club stuff. There's a lot of old photos posted there and discussions as to what used to be where, etc. Here's what I posted.
"Sorry to intrude with a non-history question, but I'm kind of a marital bind. I need to find a decent Chinese take out place in Desoto. Thoughts? Recommendations? Places to avoid?"
There were several responses, even some debate. Only one name came up, to near unanimous recommendation.
One post, by Ed,  a guy I know IRL (in real life):
"Too bad you specified De Soto. I know this excellent place on Ty Tung Doh Low (phonetic spelling). But that's in Tai Pei"
I responded that I knew a couple of great places as well, in Northern Japan and South Korea.
You see, the travel was the entire point of my inquiry.
The country road I live on connects to a minor county road. At least it used to. There's a bridge over a creek between our compound and that other road. It is being completely rebuilt, road closed.
The detour adds about four or five miles to any and all trips to anywhere. That may not sound like much, but it is all country road miles. No center lines, no shoulders, narrow, curvy and constantly populated by deer, tractors and other country stuff.
Normally when we bring home Chinese, we go to Lam's in Festus. If we want a buffet, we go to Festus.
Now that Festus was even further away than it used to be, I was looking to cut down on the drive time. Desoto is about five miles closer than Festus. I'd never had Chinese food in DeSoto.
So I asked the group to name the good ones.

The Place:
Located next to the Dollar General in a not-completely-occupied strip mall on Main street. The parking lot was barely littered with patrons, it was rather quiet. On the railroad tracks across the street, a double locomotive idled powerfully, sounding hungry for the long pull to come.
It had taken about a half hour to get there, Angel had composed and called in the order just as I was leaving. I took her list with me just in case the order wasn't quite all there.
There was a couple, or a small family sitting at one of the tables, I couldn't tell if they were eating in or waiting for a take-out.
Overall the place looked exactly like every other small town Chinese take-out place, maybe a little more worn and run down. The carpet was stomped almost smooth and shiny in a few heavy traffic areas, the lights seemed old, just not as bright as maybe they once were. It wasn't necessarily dirty, just well-worn.
There was a man at the counter paying for his order, I was next in line. Actually, I was the line. The lady asked for my phone number, Angel had said they didn't ask for a name, just a number. This sort of thing is not usually a problem for me, however I fumbled the answer this time like I was lying and got caught. The problem was that I rarely give out my home phone number and my personal cell phone number had recently changed. So I essentially answered in a confused compilation of three different numbers. Realizing I had screwed it up only made me more anxious about it so I started spitting out various unrelated number sequences. One of them must have come close, since the lady shoved a large bag towards me.
I handed her my debit card, she said something about signatures and dollar amounts, but I was still recovering from the phone number crisis so I didn't quite grasp the details. I merely trusted her to ring it up correctly, I either trusted or just didn't care, they look kind of the same in the language of my facial ticks and scowls.
I made the drive back, almost hitting a deer crossing the detour road, the same deer crossing in the opposite direction, at the same spot in the same road that I'd almost hit an hour earlier. I guessed that he went out for some take-out as well.
The Food:
We ordered three combos and a couple of sides, even though it would just be the two of us. We do take out this way, we set it up as a buffet at home.
What we got this time:

1. Pepper Beef. Slim strips of beef, big ol' chunks of bell pepper and onion and a savory gravy/sauce.
2. General Chicken. You know which general. Zuo Zongtang (Tso Tsung-t'ang) (1812–1885) was indeed a real person, a military leader and statesman. However, he had absolutely nothing to do with this dish. There is no record at all of anything like this stuff existing anywhere around when and where he lived and worked. It could be a linguistic anomaly, a similar sound to his name passed down over generations. Hunan cuisine chef Peng Chang-kuei fled mainland China during that nations's civil war and settled, as did many, in what is now known as Taiwan. He cooked there until 1973 when he
left the continent to settle in New York City, where he experimented with new dishes and allegedly introduced the sweet, spicy concoction to the American menu. That's one story anyhow. There are, as with nearly every food item, more than a few claims to the origin, what is known is that it first appeared in the U.S. in the early 1970's
3. Pork Noodles (lo mein). In Japan this was called yakisoba. Chinese spiced and sauced . . .  spaghetti. . . with small strips of pork, onions, etc. I like noodles.
On the side we added steamed dumplings, a pair of crab Rangoons
and a couple of egg rolls. 'Rangoon' refers to the former capital of Myanmar (Burma) and there is a similar food item to what we know from Burma (Myanmar) BTW, Rangoon is more correctly 'Yangon'. Because, of course it is.
The version we know commonly was invented in San Francisco, perhaps at Trader Vic's. You see, there is no history, at all, of cream cheese in Southeast Asia, or pretty much any other kind of cheese.

So we peeled it all open and dived in, each a little of everything, just like at a real buffet, but without the frog legs.
Let me lead off by asking you: "What the hell is up with making the fried rice day-glow yellow and for the love of any god or gods you choose, WHY?
I've seen this in a few places. Probably turmeric, nature's own food coloring. It adds little to nothing to the taste and used like this, in my opinion, is a bit off-putting. It doesn't look anywhere near natural. I don't need to sparkle up a potato, what's wrong with natural brownish beige in a starchy side?
There, got that off my chest.
Summary:
So how was it? One word, Adam could have said it for us. Fine. It was all just fine.
Nothing was outstanding and nothing was terrible. Beside the pencil-yellow rice, the steamed dumplings had a structural problem. There was a lot of dough and only a little happy ending (filling). The dough to filling ratio was out of whack.

The taste of the filling was. . . fine, but there was a lot of essentially tasteless, chewy dough to go through to get to it.
But that's pretty much as bad as it gets. In every other aspect it was quite. . .  fine. Acceptable, good enough.
Sometimes that's all you need. Chinese food like this is not haute cuisine. It's working people food. It's cheap, there are several options, and it fits perfectly with the American lust for wrapped and floured fried meats. Kids even like the stuff.
I am of course spoiled. I served and ate for three years in Japan and South Korea. It's a different thing. Some of the stuff we have here wasn't even available there. (however, if you like deep fried squid heads on a stick, you are in luck.)
I left the service after that tour and settled, for over fifteen years, in the modern day Mecca of Americanized Chinese food, Springfield, Mo. I am indeed spoiled.
There's a Chinese place nearer to my home than China King. We ate there, once and only once. For the past few years we've settled for the two places in Festus, China King can easily join that pair as a good-enough place to go for Chinese takeout.
Sometimes you have to settle. After Springfield, we lived for five years on the Chesapeake Bay in Southern Maryland. I have not had a decent crab cake since then. There are some I can settle for, but they are not the ideal. And that's okay. China King is plenty good enough. If I want steak and lobster, I'll get steak and lobster. On a busy weekend when I just crave Chinese, this will do just fine if it means I do not have to drive to Seoul or Misawa.
To all the FB post responders in Desoto, thanks for participating! Let's do this again sometime!

Oriental Buffet

774 S. Truman Blvd.
Festus, Mo.

After last week's very disappointing Chinese (Panda Express) meal, we needed to refresh our palates. One of the most telling indicators that the food wasn't that good was that no one ever touched any of the leftovers. Angel says that's a sure sign that it was just wrong.
So we decided to go to a decent Chinese place and rub the Panda's face in it.
The Place:
Less than one mile south of, and on on the same road as Panda.  PE is on a lot just north of the big Walmart, Oriental Buffet is in a shopping center on the lot south of Wally World. Yeah, that close. It doesn't appear that their business has suffered much from the big Hibachi Grill, also less than a mile away, or the mighty Panda. OB looked as clean, well staffed and popular as ever. Overhead, twangy Chinese instrumentals played quietly, as if a part of nature itself.
The steamer trays were loaded up. The first station, for  sushi, was offering pretty and colorful stuff in sticky rice, stuff that I will never take. I just don't like sticky rice.
We were greeted at the front counter and immediately led to a four top in the middle of the tidy dining area. Without even sitting down, we gave our drink orders, tea, tea and coke and were pointed toward the ample serving area. Yeah, that fast.
The Food:
The offerings at Panda were very limited. Not here, I counted seven or eight types of chicken, several types of shrimp and other seafood, including frog legs, lots of wrapped fried things, different kinds of rice and noodles, a whole station for salads, another for desserts. . .  you get the point.
We loaded up. As usual I took small samples of lots of things, rice, noodles five different chickens, bourbon, honey, orange, black pepper and General Tso. I also grabbed a spring roll a rangoon, a couple of fried shrimp and some pepper beef. In other words, everything I 'd had from the Panda, plus much more.
By the time we returned to the table, the drinks were waiting. It just doesn't get faster from order to forkful than this.

Angel's plate looked similar, though she'd also found some sauteed green beans and had some chicken on a stick. Adam had some of his favorites, broccoli (blech!), white rice and sweet and sour chicken. I like sweet and sour, but for some reason, buffets around here think that the chicken for it needs to be coated like a corn dog in breading. When I make sweet and sour at home, it's no different than that for the other sauce/coating options, very lightly breaded, just enough to make it crisp.
The first thing I dug into was the noodles. I love noodles. But I like fried rice as well. This poses a dilemma at some non-buffet Chinese places, noodles or rice, rice or noodles. That's why I love a buffet, I can get both.
Angel  and I agree, the rice here was so much better than at the Panda. Which is ridiculous, fried rice

is one of the simplest things to make. You certainly don't crowd it with veggies, especially corn. Who puts corn in fried rice? But I repeat myself.
Even Hibachi, the colossal buffet on the nearby hill makes better rice, and chicken and everything else. Even though when we did a two night comparison a while back, Hibachi lost out a little to the Oriental Buffet.
There wasn't a lot of conversation while we cleaned our plates. And clean them, we did.  This was a great idea, to restore our respect for the cuisine.
We all had small dessert plates, mine, of course was banana pudding, with a vanilla wafer, and the bananas in thick red sauce you only find at Chinese places.
Summary:

Simple. Everything was better than at the Panda. It was fast, had a much wider variety and as if that weren't enough, the bill came in six dollars under what we paid at the Panda.
I've had better Chinese food. Primarily when I was stationed in Japan. But that's a bit of a drive, I doubt that I will ever have that again. However there's also Springfield, Mo. where Angel is from and where I spent seventeen years of my own handsome life. Springfield is where you find the best Americanized Chinese food in the country. Seriously, it doesn't get better. If you've ever had 'Cashew Chicken' or as it is known some places, 'Springfield Style', you'll understand, it was first created there.
However, I don't live there anymore either. So The quest is constant to find at least pretty good versions. In our vicinity, in the small window of driving time we can allow for these weekly excursions, Oriental Buffet wins every time.
The tea isn't very good, just ask for water instead, there's so many great flavors on your plate that you don't need to worry about what you drink.
The staff is efficient, tidy, busy and quickly on the spot to remove plates or refill your tumbler. The price is right, the selection and quality is a lot better. AND they have takeout options!
I do not understand why anyone would prefer the third rate food at Panda Express over this place. Of course, I also don't understand why there's always a line at the drive through at White Castle. Some people just want crap, I guess.

Panda Express

612 S. Truman
Festus, Mo.
On the Web

Easy pick. Since it sits beside the Walmart in Festus, we knew it was coming. I was actually looking forward to reviewing it, for all the wrong reasons. More on that later. You may know Panda from the many, many mall installations of the brand. The first Panda Express opened in 1983 by the Cheng family. Master Chef  Ming Tsai Cherng had been operating the very popular Panda Inn in Pasedena, California for ten years prior to he and his son, Andrew, opening the first Express in the Glendale Galleria. Pioneers in the 'Quick Service' Chinese food market. Today, there are over 1700 Panda Express locations. All locations are wholly owned by the parent company, there are no franchises.
I was already in Festus, I'd just had my head examined, well part of it anyhow. it was my eyes. Regular readers are aware of my ongoing issues with my eyesight. My eyeglass prescription ran out a few months ago and I've been mentioning (whining) it to Angel for quite a while. She has been encouraging (nagging) me to get some new ones. I, of course, get my optical needs met at Walmart. It turns out that there was a problem with my existing prescription, it was too strong. My eyesight had actually improved, probably due to my lowered blood pressure, cholesterol and weight over the past two years. I went out on a limb with the new frames, they are completely different than anything I've had the last thirty years or so.
Angel had a really busy day so we'd set this plan in place earlier in the week. I'd pop in and order a bunch of stuff, take it home and lay it all out buffet style.
The Place:
As I said, next to the big Walmart in Festus.

Brand new, so 'clean and tidy' was almost a given. The decor was nice, subdued, not plastic-y. As you go in you pass a few tables and step up to the line. The ordering/serving line is in front, glass fronted so pedestrians can't spit or sneeze into the food. The offerings are in steamer trays, much like you'll find at a buffet. Overhead is a menu with prices.
Desteny (yes, that's how she spells it.) stepped forward after welcoming me. I was still studying the overhead when she asked if she could help. I asked her about portion sizes adding the part about the in-home buffet.
She pointed out a combo, a Panda Feast, with three meats and two sides. This feast goes for thirty bucks.
The Food:
I okay'd her suggestion. We started with the meats. Not that there were a lot of them to choose from, compared to a buffet, or even to the nearby family owned Chinese place, Lam's. I went with things that were similar to what we would get at a buffet.
Orange Chicken, Beef Broccoli and Black Pepper Chicken.
The sides were a cinch, Fried Rice and White Rice. (Adam prefers the white.) I surreptitiously added two egg rolls and two orders of cheese rangoons. This brought the total up to thirty nine and change. Desteny asked if I wanted to round it up to forty and donate the change to some sort of children's charity. Sure, I was in a charitable mood.
Behind the serving line was the prep area/kitchen. Part of the Panda philosophy is to let people see the food being made to assure the customers that it was clean and was not made from cats.  I can appreciate that, there's a Springfield Mo. favorite called Cashew Chicken that somehow picked up the nickname Cashew Kitten.
I'm sure no one cooks with cats anymore. . . (I told you I was feeling charitable)
She scooped up the chosen portions into stereotypical red and paper boxes. No wire handles, which  was disappointing since I like totally pointless things.
The egg rolls looked overcooked and the rangoons looked as though they'd been sitting under a heat lamp for an hour or two.
I paid up, grabbed my package and left, racing home to put the stuff in the fridge. . .it was a bit early.
By the time Angel got a break and Adam limped out of his room for the first time that day (he works nights), an hour had passed, but the stuff in the boxes was still pretty warm. I plucked some rice, the two chickens an egg roll and a couple of rangoons out of their boxes and wrapper and populated a plate. I set the reactor two one minute to heat it back up, but not actually cook it further. If a Chinese feast suffers from reheating, it was not real Americanized Chinese food to begin with.
Angel was already feasting, watching Jurassic Park, again. I think that movie is on all the time somewhere, she seems to find it a lot.
I joined her in the adjoining recliner, because that's how we dine at home. Adam joined a couple of minutes later.
The Orange Chicken, PE's biggest seller, was sweet and there was a very slight hint of flavoring, it might have been orange. After two or three nuggets though, the sweetness started to numb my tongue. By the end of the five or so chunks I'd selected, I was queasy. Don't be fooled, it may say 'orange', but this caramelized sticky coating is mostly just sugar. The pepper chicken lived up to its name. Black pepper, lots of it. Too much, by a mile. I could only handle a very small portion. I didn't try the broc and beef but the word I got from both Angel and Adam was "Where's the sauce?" and "I think they forgot something."
The rangoons were a little greasy, not especially crisp and after chewing, there seemed to be a dusty aftertaste. It was as if the wonton wraps were hard frozen and thawed a few times, breaking down the structure of the dough. The egg roll, besides being over-fried, tasted very heavily of ginger. I can't handle that as a primary flavor. If you like heavy handed ginger, you might think more highly of it than I did. The rice was bland. Angel noted that it was too crowded with veggies, especially corn. "Who puts corn in fried rice?" She asked rhetorically, I hope.
As I polled the room, one thing was abundantly clear. No one was really impressed with anything. The highest praise for anything peaked at 'Okay.'
Adam did say, trying to be positive, "It was good for what it was."
In other words, if fast-food quality and service is what you want in your Chinese meal, well, here you go.
Summary:
First  and foremost, before it gets ugly, the service and staff I encountered at the store were very pleasant, attentive and professional. Desteny was excellent, patiently explaining things to an arrogant and ignorant novice.
Through no fault of anyone in Jefferson County, this place represents a disheartening race to the bottom. This is what fast food joints of this particular generation, regardless of offerings, brings to the gastronomic landscape. Everybody knows that the soggy, flat, lifeless burgers you get in a Happy Meal looks nothing like those McD's ads you see on TV or even in-store banners. . I mean, it's right there!
Fast, cheap, greasy or sweet, turn the customers as quickly as possible, as cheaply as possible. Make every item at every one of the thousands of locations taste exactly the same, no innovation, no tweaking, stick with the lowest common denominator script. Panda Express is to Chinese food what Taco Bell is to Mexican cuisine. It's an embarrassment. It's an admission that we will gladly trade away the idea of  'quality and value' for 'fast and cheap'.
This is the 'value' Panda Express brings to Festus. Within five minutes of this location, I know of at least four more Chinese places, two of them buffets. You can get some really good, fresh(er) Chinese food, just as quickly and definitely for the same price or less. At Panda, I paid $40 for this family feast, I can 'all-you-can-eat-buffet' three people for less than that, in very close proximity.
Come on folks, we deserve better.
BTW, There's a new restaurant going up in the Desoto Walmart parking lot! Taco Bell.  Yeah. . .

Lucky China

4038 Butler Hill Rd.
St. Louis, Mo.

This was no accident. In fact you could say we went our of our way for it. A long way.
We'd planned this event a couple of months back. Angel's birthday was earlier in the week, we were celebrating it this weekend. We made reservations in a large suburb and the state's ninth largest city, St. Charles.
St. Chuck was the home of Missouri's first capitol from 1821 to 1826.  North and west of St. Louis on the Missouri River, it was considered the last 'civilized' stop for Lewis and Clark's westward exploration in 1804.
It was originally founded decades earlier by French Canadian fur traders. Fur trading used  to be a big thing, almost a common form of currency. That is, until PETA wiped out the fur business.
Those of you that know the St. Louis area are looking at the above address for the Lucky China and scratching your heads at this point. The place is nowhere near St. Charles, no matter where you start.
It's located in what is known as 'South County' (St. Louis County) across the Meramec River from Arnold. It's not only in South County, it's near the southernmost point of South County.
So our drive from Hillsboro first went north, then east, then we headed north and west for around forty five more minutes.
Yes there are lots of places to eat closer to, along the way and in St. Charles. There are lots of Chinese places along that more direct route as well.
But it was her birthday. You don't argue with that.
The plan was simple. Grab some Chinese takeout, go to the hotel, plug in the portable DVD player and start binge watching, in this case season 8 of '24'.
Then pop open the food and lay it out, buffet style and tada! You have a party.
Angel loves her job as a dog trainer and boarder. She runs the business out of our property so she never really gets to leave work. She's usually busy from seven in the morning until around nine at night, seven days a week.  So these getaways allow her to really relax and get away from it for a while. Her assistant and Adam manage the dogs at home and are fully capable of handling things. We've done this before, we'll do it again.
The Place:
We came across this place on a previous getaway, back in December, for my birthday. It was near where we were staying then. It was that good.
By appearance it is a typical Chinese takeout place in a shopping center. Even when you step inside, it's about the same. Above the counter, large photos of various dishes, behind the counter a young Chinese man and at one of the tables a lone Chinese school-aged girl sat coloring or playing with a toy pulled from a nearby laundry basket full of stuffed animals. It was apparently a first-generation Chinese-American family establishment. Various animated conversations in Chinese poured out from the kitchen.
The Food:
The plan was to order a couple of entrees, some fried rice, a couple of egg rolls and two orders of

crab Rangoons.  This time we went with the sesame chicken and the beef with peppers. We asked the young man what kind of rice was standard issue, he replied white. We asked for an upgrade to fried. "That'll cost more." He said. He didn't know that this was Angel's birthday getaway, we pulled out all the stops.
We waited for a while, long enough to get the impression that this was made to order, not pre-made and sitting in a steamer in the back. It was a beautiful day though, one of the first nice days of the year. I didn't even need a jacket outside. I wandered around the parking lot and watched a brother and tall, lanky sister bounce a basketball to each other in front of a shoe store.
When I went back in Angel was sitting at a table with her new smartphone, swiping through an app of some kind.
The young man called our order and we hit the road for the long trek north.
When we do this we get a specific room type. Sort of high end that not every place offers. The room is usually on the first floor, with a large TV, a king bed, a microwave and small fridge. Sure lots of places have those things, but not many have an in-room Jacuzzi. Yeah, I spoil my lady! On this occasion it was the Country Inn on old Main street in Historic St. Charles.
Main Street is made up of cobblestone/brick streets and many of the restored and maintained buildings dating back to the early 1800's. A beautiful area, but we weren't there to sight-see this time. Once Angel got into the room, I don't think she left it until we departed on Sunday morning. I ventured out for coffee at the reception area and muffins and bacon from the complimentary breakfast bar.
We got to the room, plugged in the portable DVD player, fired up some Jack Bauer. "Everybody down!!!" 
We laid out the food, picked and chose.
The Rangoons, the star of the meal, were once again, perfect. Crispy all over, not doughy on the bottom. Slightly sweet, but light and tasty. Actual krab chunks were evident. We'd asked for two orders of these, some for the meal, some for snack/dessert.
 The rice was perfectly cooked, not too salty. The entrees were an instant hit. Sesame chicken is often very sweet, Lucky's a little less so. Small chicken nuggets, still moist and also crispy. The veggies in the steak and peppers were also perfectly cooked, and large. The beef was tender, unlike at a lot of places where it can have the consistency of a bicycle tire.
The egg rolls were smaller than some places, but the flavors inside them was very well balanced.
We gorged ourselves in no time, Jack's body count was barely even in the low teens by that point.
We revisited the Rangoons a few times, once, with evening coffee.
We brought the leftovers home, Lunch.
Summary:
For some reason, several reasons probably, this unassuming and generic looking little Chinese take-out place is a cut or two above the rest. Yes, it is that good. There is quality of the food, the prep and even the presentation. Yes, it was worth adding about an hour of driving to our little weekend getaway. The price is what you might expect from a place like this, thirty something dollars for our two-meal-plus feast. A real bargain.
Our anniversary is coming up in June and if not before then, we will be going back. Highly recommended!

Oriental Buffet vs. Hibachi Grill

Sometimes comparisons are inevitable.
About a year ago, Hibachi Grill in Festus opened, a mere mile from the Oriental Buffet. We'd been going to the latter for several years, it was small, but they seemed to get the things we like best about right.
When the Hibachi Grill opened, I was worried for the smaller place.
The many Hibachi Grills around the region look the same, large and imposing, with similar interiors styles and offerings, but they are not a franchise outfit. It's more of a shared business model. Each one is independently owned and operated. If there is collusion between them, it apparently happens behind closed doors. All the four or five HG's I'v been to looked, tasted and seemed the same.
OB is, by all appearances also independently owned and operated. It is at the end of a modest strip mall. HG took over a failed Ryan's Steakhouse. A massive free standing building.
HG's have bigger, much bigger, buffet lines. They not only offer Americanized (breaded and fried) Chinese food, which is after all, what we want when we want Chinese, but it also serves a lot of American American things like pizza slices, macaroni, etc. Strip away the non-Chinese serving lines at HG and you'll discover they serve pretty much the same stuff as OB.
HG also caters to big crowds, OB is a bit more intimate, more sit down restaurant like.
So this three day weekend we decided to do a side by side comparison. Was OB holding up despite the Goliath on the nearby hill? Was Hibachi sacrificing quality for quantity?
Let's find out.

Oriental Buffet
774 Truman Blvd
Festus, Mo.

The Place:
At the end of a strip mall Just South of  Highway A. A few years old, but holding up well. The strip mall is anchored by an always busy Aldi's on one end, along with hair places, a big $1 store, the usual stuff.
I noticed walking in that it had not changed much in the year or so since my previous visit. Well lit, nicely decorated, clean and neat. There were the requisite gaudy red, gold and jade objects sitting around, not cluttered though. There were about a dozen tables occupied, maybe 1/3 capacity. This is pretty much the level of occupancy I recall from earlier visits.
We were greeted by a young lady who happily led us to a booth and took our drink orders while we were walking. This proved very efficient since by the time we got to the booth we didn't even bother to sit, we just dropped of our jackets and went straight to the line. I admired the table tops, a large piece of traditional art and calligraphy.
As before, there were a half dozen young people dressed in black pants and white shirts scurrying around the floor, bussing tables, reloading the serving line, refreshing drinks. To my ear they all treated English as very much a second language.
Overhead though, the music was different. It was very low volume, so I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was definitely a western hemisphere key though. Not the exotic Asian key and instruments that I recalled from a previous visit.
The Food:

We pretty much always get the same things at Chinese buffets, to each of us, our own favorites. I spread it out, just a couple of nuggets each of General Tsao and other chickens, Black Pepper, Teriyaki, etc. Some Beef from the broccoli and beef, and some pepper steak, a few standard shrimp, then some noodles and fried rice, and finally a must-have, a Crab Rangoon.
Angel 's plate had some of those things, but also included an egg roll,
chicken on a stick and green beans.
I like those things too, but the egg roll and stick chicken, were, compared to the other things I had, quite large. Adam's plate looked paler. Broccoli, plain rice, and a Chinese doughnut along with his General Tsao's. Adam doesn't care for fried rice because of the little vegetable chunks they put in it.
There was nothing scary or new on my plate, like I said, we all get pretty much the same thing every time. This was going to be a test of quality, taste and freshness of things we knew well, not an experiment. We would very likely be getting very similar things at HG.
I picked an poked around my variety, tore open the rangoon and let the innards melt on my tongue. It was sweeter than at some places, but not bad, barely any crab taste  at all. The wrapper was crispy on the top and sides, but suffered a little under the liquid load on the bottom. The only place we've found that can prevent their bottoms from getting soggy, was at Lucky China in Arnold. Those at Lucky were the best tasting we'd ever had as well. But these were quite acceptable.
Angel immediately remarked on the freshness of the stick chicken. I asked her if it was dry, as they often tend to be and she said that it was actually moist. Then she pointed to the green beans and said they too were fresh and perfectly cooked. I began to notice the same thing. All the meats were tender and moist. None seemed overcooked or suffered from sitting too long in a steamer tray. That's a problem common in many buffets, food that is kept warm often tends to continue cooking and toughen or dry up. This did not seem like that at all. Even the beef strips fell apart with a gentle pull. The only disappointment for me, and it wasn't a big one, was that the noodles were a bit overcooked, but they were tasty. Nothing was too spicy, or too bland or too sweet, the recipes and preparation at OB was solid. For my second round, unlike what I used to do before my stomach shrank, which was to go back and get two or three of my favorite things, I went straight for the dessert round. The desserts I like at Chinese buffets are hardly traditional, I like the bananas in red sauce topped with banana pudding. I noticed they also had Fig Newtons, another thing I'm rather fond of, so I grabbed one of those as well. Angel grabbed a couple more chicken chunks and some more green beans, some shrimp and added a couple of the rangoons. "Rangoons are kind of like dessert." She said. I nodded, they were kind of sweet at OB.
Summary:
Overall we were quite pleased. A little surprised too, that the quality had not suffered since our last visit, and in fact seemed to be improving. The freshness was notable, but also indicative of a well run, successful restaurant, the dining area was very neat, meticulously cleaned and the staff was plentiful and on the job. Empty plates were taken away and tables were bussed, cleaned and prepped very quickly.
The place never really filled up, but those that were there seemed happy and content. The bill came to a modest and predictable thirty four dollars and change.
Not bad, not bad at all.

Hibachi Grill
331 North Creek Dr.
Festus, Mo.

The Place:
Hibachi Grill took over the former Ryan's Buffet about a year ago. It's big place, easily three times bigger than Oriental Buffet. Hibachi Grills are designed and operated to feed a lot of people. Saturday nights the place is usually packed. On those nights it seems almost industrial, like a busy cafeteria.
It too has the gold and red bric-a-brac on shelves. It also has large statues, reminiscent of the famed Terracotta Army. We were greeted by a young man lady who took us back to a booth/table. He too asked about drinks on the way. Once again we didn't even sit, we went straight to the lines. The decor is a bit loud and gaudy, only on a larger scale. The carpet was very dark, worn and industrial, it robbed from the ambiance, making it seem less polished and clean. The tables were not nearly as ornate, plain faux-marble laminate. The Music overhead was more talk than music. It was a radio station pushed by industrial speakers into an acoustically challenged space. Static, poorly equalized noise. The sound bounced around the high ceiling so much that I couldn't make out the actual words very often. Bad idea.
There were, as promised, more serving lines. Hibachi Grill has one thing that OB doesn't, a Mongolian Barbecue station. I've taken advantage of that before, picking my own combination of meats, veg, noodles and sauce. It's hard to go wrong when you pick your own ingredients. I skipped it this visit.
The Food:
Sure enough, even though there were a lot more buffet lines, all three of us picked out pretty much the same
things. I added a thing or two, like a stuffed crab and 'butter shrimp' just to try them, but other than that, some fried rice, noodles, a couple each of several beefs and chickens and a crab rangoon. The rangoons were noticeably smaller, more like won tons. That's not a bad thing, just a style thing. I like them both ways, the big fat ones can be kind of messy. The meats I got were very close to the same selections from OB. General Tsao, pepper, etc. Also the pepper steak and a slug of thin meat from the broccoli and beef.
Angel and Adam pretty much did the same, even though I had not prompted them to do so. Angel had the egg roll, the chicken on a stick, green beans. Along with that she added some cheesy crab dish and some stuffed mushrooms.
Adam had the chicken, the plain rice, the doughnut, and broccoli.
Selection was where the similarities ended.
My fried rice was, for lack of a better word, mushy. Too wet, it doughed up in my mouth. I can't really comment on the taste since the texture was too off-putting to notice. The noodles were better cooked than at OB but there wasn't any real flavor to them. The chickens, as I had feared, seemed tough and dry, the beef chewy. The rangoon wrapper was not crisp, but not soggy either, sort of stale, very much like chewing on a business card. Once again the texture was enough of a deficit that I can't really speak to the taste.
The extras, the stuffed crab was inedible. The taste was weird, I can't put my finger on it, but once again it was the texture that really killed it. It was gritty, like they sprinkled about a tablespoon of fine sand in with the stuffing. The butter shrimp was neither buttery or shrimp-y. It looked
like salad shrimp with a crust of some kind, but it came out more greasy breading than anything. The green peppers in the sauces all looked pale and seemed a bit tough. the General's chicken was the only thing, other than the real shrimp, that I finished on this plate.
Angel commented the the stick chicken was dry and tough. She admitted that things didn't seem as fresh. Adam shrugged his shoulders.
They were confused. They had eaten there just a week before, without me since I worked that weekend, and said that meal was just fine, much better than this. It wasn't just one or two things, she said.

I made a second run, mostly because I hadn't wanted to eat most of what was on my first plate. I saw some chicken I'd missed before, something called 'Hibachi Chicken' with a green pepper and sauce topping. I also grabbed anther Rangoon to see if the previous one had just been a dud. I hadn't asked Angel about the cheesy crab, so I got a little of that. Then I went ahead and stepped up to the dessert line and plopped down some bananas in . . . . wait a minute, is that sauce . . . orange? Oh well, I topped it with some banana pudding. Just like before.
Angel picked up a few things too, including a stuffed shrimp and some chocolate pudding.
The cheesy crab was awful. It tasted fishy, and not in that good way. The chicken was pretty good though, a little fresher and more tender than the others. Still, the peppers were pale and tough. Overall the best chicken offering that evening. The previous rangoon had not been a fluke, this one too was stale. The red/orange sauce was a little odd, but not terrible, the good news is that the banana pudding was very good, more like the old fashioned kind mom used to make before instant pudding was invented. More vanilla wafers, layered, as well. Angel commented that her pudding was better here as well.
Summary:
The bill came in at a slightly higher thirty nine dollars vs. thirty four, not really enough to squirm about. The service was at least as efficient, plates disappeared quickly. The tea was old, like OB's so no winner there. It should be pretty plain from this review, the whole ordeal was a bit disappointing.

Conclusion:
Well it probably seems clear at this point, and in fact it was unanimous consent, that Oriental Buffet was the winner of this round, by a large margin.
I said 'this round' though. Adam and Angel truly seemed baffled about the fact that they could not believe the difference between the two week-apart meals they'd had at Hibachi. Thinking about it, I had a hunch. We went to Oriental Buffet on a Saturday. Hibachi Grill on a Monday. As I mentioned earlier, on Saturday nights the place is usually packed. On this visit, there was no competition with crowds, a lot of empty tables between diners. HG's food was not being turned as quickly and was sitting much longer than on a Saturday. Hibachi has a lot more food offerings, though a great deal of it is American food, meat loaf, pizza, grilled steak, macaroni and cheese, etc. the kitchen has a lot more work to do to turn out that big variety. Whereas OB concentrates on a much smaller range of food and can tend to that and make more frequent and smaller batches.
So the moral of the story is that if you want to go to Hibachi Grill, go there when it is really busy. Oriental Buffet on the other hand is more consistent exactly because it serves fewer things to fewer people.

Epilouge:
After the meal on Saturday, we had to stop on the way home to give witness statements to the Festus Police and the Highway Patrol. We had stopped at an intersection yielding to oncoming traffic, unlike the guy in the Jeep in front of us. He got slammed by a big pickup going full on through his solid green light. The poor kid in the pickup told me after I called 911 and checked on the drivers, that this was his dad's truck as his own had been stolen earlier in the week. (sad) No one was injured, just two vehicles totaled and a mess of fluids, glass and plastic bits all over the roadway.
On Monday as we got to the Hibachi Grill, as I usually do, I stepped out of the car to take a photo of the signage. I took two as the first one was a bit distant. After we had our disappointing meal we stepped back out to the vast, but mostly empty parking lot to see that the SUV's passenger door, my door, was standing open. Yeah, I'd been so eager about the photo that I forgot to close the door. Nothing was stolen or damaged, just a little embarrassing. I only mention it at all because Angel said I had to mention it or she'd sue me or something. She mumbled something about all the previous times I'd pointed out silly and embarrassing things she's done, though  I don't recall ever doing that.

Hibachi Buffet

331 North Creek Drive

Festus, Mo

My daughter, Leslye,  was in town, along with her brood of three, Ashton 15, Caprice, 12 and Kinley, 2.

I saw my daughter last a year ago, she flew in for my father's funeral. The kids though, I hadn't seen in several years. We'd tried, we'd planned, but one thing after another, life, reality, just  kept it form happening. Seattle's  a long and expensive trek, no matter how you do it.

Rather than try to figure out in advance what groceries to have on hand and what meals to plan for kids of that age range, we decided that we'd keep small meal and snack stuff at the house and have our dinners out. That way they could figure it out for themselves.

And what better place for diverse choices than a Chinese Buffet?

The Place:

The Hibachi buffet in Festus just opened

a few months back. We went shortly after it opened and it fared pretty well. So this would work as a followup, a review now that the place has had time to settle into its stride.

There's been a bit of Hibachi-hate in the local internet discussions, I found little of actual substance or detail in those remarks, but kept my nose up just in case.

Word had spread that the Springfield, Mo. Hibachi, not owned or operated by the same people though similar in almost every way, had been shut down for a few days by that city's health inspectors.

It happens. Back when I lived in Sprangburg my favorite Chinese places occasionally got shut down, not really that big of a deal. The inspectors find something, wrong, they close for a few days, fix the problem, then open back up. This sort of thing, especially considering the often relatively minor infractions, should not alarm any but the most squeamish of diners.

GM recalls a half billion autos, but people keep buying the things, right? (said the man who recently got rid of his Chevy coupe in favor of a small German sedan.)

The Festus location had not been shut down since it opened, but still the underworld whispered of misdeeds.

The place used to be a Ryan's American buffet and not a very good one. Since the Hibachi folks redecorated it, it looks cleaner and more up to date than it did at Ryan's peak.

It is big, and busy.

I rode with my daughter, who recently got rid of her Japanese import in favor of a newer Japanese import. It still scares me to ride in a car that she's driving, even though she's been driving for many years and in fact had driven in from Seattle. Some irrational father-fears just never go away.

Adam and Ashton rode with Angel in her big, fully operational, non-recalled Chevy SUV. It did not explode, all its pieces and parts stayed in place.

The place was busy, but only about half. No waiting.

Leslye was immediately impressed by the size of the buffet lines. She's accustomed to more modest buffets as are more typical in her home area as opposed to the giant feeding troughs favored here in the Midwest.

We were shown to a large table and we rattled off our drink orders. The kids wanted pop, the adults ordered tea. Angel asked for sweet tea, I asked for "Unsweet tea, no sugar." which interestingly enough, baffled the server. It was like I'd given her a math problem. I had to repeat it. I enjoyed this so much I used the line again at a restaurant a couple of days later. (Sorry Steak and Shake!)

Sometimes I amuse myself.

The Food:

The kids knew their way around a buffet, the size of the lines did not deter them, especially Caprice. She found all the sugar coated pastries in a hurry. That and frog legs.

Yeah, a city girl wanted to try frog legs. Bold move, I don't even like the things, but I'd challenged her earlier. She's proud, precocious and stubborn enough to not back out of a challenge.

I decided to go through the Mongolian line. Noodles and veggies and a little meat, one egg and teriyaki sauce please.

I watched as the grill maestro deftly scooted, chopped and flipped the orders. I like this interactive theater. I even stuffed a single or two into the tip jar. It was either that or jump up and down clapping, which didn't seem to match my otherwise sober, stoic and macho persona.

I was the last one back to the table, which already looked like a small twister had blown through. I tend to forget how messy kids can be.

Kinley was picking at sticky fists full of food, Ashton, much like his uncle Adam, smart, head down, serious and tended toward more standard, dare I say bland, offerings. Caprice was all over the map. High energy, very chatty, engaging and funny, she danced through several plates of stuff. Five feet tall, about forty pounds soaking wet, it didn't seem to matter that her plates carried virtually nothing with any positive nutritional value.

"It tastes like chicken!" she said of the frog legs."

"They've got two dozen different chicken offerings here, if you wanted to eat something that tasted like chicken, why would you get something that isn't chicken but tastes exactly like it?" I asked. She didn't answer, she just gave me a funny look. That happened a lot over the four days they were with us.

My Mongolian was excellent. I like a good, savory noodle and I like grilled onions and bell peppers, plenty of them. I'd snagged a couple of rangoons as well, I'm reluctant to call them 'Crab Rangoons'  since I don't recall ever coming across any crab, or even krab in the things. Thin dough wrappers encasing a dollop of cream cheese, deep fried and crispy, good enough for me.
Everyone went back for second rounds, Caprice came and went more times than I could count.

My second plate had a spoonful of rice, another rangoon and dessert, cheese cake and bananas with red sauce. I also sampled some 'Japanese Chicken' because Angel said it was good. It was.

Summary:

The food was quite good, the place was clean. The tables, floor and even serving areas were from my vantage point, spotless. Les even said the restrooms were tidy. No one had a complaint, everybody was gorged, the buffet lines remained stocked and constantly refreshed and most importantly, the servers said nothing about the carnage on the table and floor around the kids. The price was reasonable, about ten bucks per head for those twelve and over, I couldn't convince Caprice (Almost 13!!) to lie about her age, and a bit less for the toddler.

I saw no reason to be concerned about the place at all. No one got sick, no one complained, everyone found plenty of stuff to match their appetites. 

So even after a few months of operation, the Hibachi Buffet is staying the course, offering reasonably priced, decent quality food in a safe, clean environment.
My daughter liked it, her kids  liked it, what else do you need? It's good!

Hibachi Buffet

331 North Creek Drive
Festus, MO








 Finally! After Months of waiting, Hibachi Buffet opened it's doors on Friday, March 7. If you follow this blog regularly, which you certainly should, you would know that I think this place is a game changer for Festus.
The Place:
Last year Ryans's Buffet abruptly shut down several locations. Within a very short time there were local news reports indicating that Hibachi was taking over the Ryan's location. It's a big place, perfect for their needs.
There are Hibachi's all over the area, even in Springfield, Mo. However they are not a franchise. Each one is independently owned and operated. They do all dutifully follow a business model, layout and and I believe, recipes. Thus they offer pretty much the same things.
Part of that business model is to go big, and invest heavily in classy decor, at least for the entrance. Mural sized stone engravings, crystal-like lighting that shifts colors, large statues, etc. You can tell that there's a huge initial investment in these places.
The entryway was large, it needed to be. When we got there, there was a line. By the time we finished, there was still a line.
Which I found interesting.
Hibachi has almost zero web presence. I have been checking the local paper for updates every week, nothing. On those occasions that I was in Festus, I would look up at the hill and see a sign, 'Coming Soon.'
It was only because Angel went by on Friday that we knew it had finally opened.
It's a big place, and it was packed, and lined up for more.
We're talking hundreds of people on the second night, just in the hour we spent there, with no advertising in any form, other than a 'Grand Opening March 7.' sign in front of the place, along with colorful pennants, like car lots use.
Other restaurateurs probably drool at that sort of prospect. The geniuses behind Hibachi know this area well.  They know exactly what people around here want and they know that don't have to waste money advertising to draw them in.
You pay up front, there are no options other than drink choice. The line moved pretty well, we stepped up. "How many, two?" the lady asked. "Three." Angel replied.
We ordered our drinks, tea, lemonade and Pepsi and waited at  the 'Wait here to be seated counter." Another lady approached, looked at Angel and asked "Two of you?"
"Three" Angel answered.
"Which one of us can they not see?"  I asked. Angel snickered. "You're invisible this evening."
I get that a lot. People at work constantly tell me I sneak up on them. That's me, Mr. Cellophane.*
The place, as I said, was packed. I did notice that there was plenty of staff on hand though, things moved efficiently.
Six or seven steamer lines, aromatic and colorful, paper lanterns were suspended overhead. We were seated at a table and became one group among dozens of others.
The Food:
I decided to do something a little different this time. I went for the Mongolian Grill. There's a couple of places near work that offer these, I've learned to really like them. Offered are raw ingredients. Onions, peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, mushrooms, etc. Then there are three or four kinds of thin sliced frozen meats. You take a bowl and mix and match in any combination you like, add some noodles, grab an egg if you want to, and hand the bowl to one of the three or four cooks. They stand around a large round grill. They pour some oil on the grill then plop the stuff in your bowl straight on it. At this location you name your sauce ahead of the grilling. Warning though, if you don't know which of the sauces you want, you would be wise to go with something you recognize. Unlike other places I've been, this place doesn't explain them. I chose 'Mongolian'. Others included Soy Sauce and Teriyaki.
It only takes a few minutes, these guys are good at what they do. They flip it, stir it and slide it onto a plate. My plate was simple. Noodles, onions, green onions, chicken, and peppers, plus one egg. These are things I like. Thus at this station, all the cooks do is heat up what you hand them. If you can handle this sort of pressure, you control the ingredients, portions and seasoning.
On the way to the table I grabbed a couple of  cheese wontons, the closest thing to a Rangoon that I could find. I needed a little crunch with my noodles. The Mongolian sauce is not spicy or hot, it's mild and savory. They offer hotter versions, but like I said, be careful.
Angel and Adam had gone the more traditional route picking many of their familiar favorites. Chicken, shrimp, pot stickers, among them. Adam had plain rice and some broccoli (blech!) and some sweet and sour chicken.
I ate most of my noodles, they were pretty darn good, but I stopped when I realized I needed to sample some of the line offerings. I got up and went around the lines, picking out very small portions of proteins and what the heck, a couple more of those cheese Rangoons. About five or six forms of chicken, then some shrimp. I picked up a pot sticker as well, Angel said they were good.
There was pineapple chicken, bourbon chicken, pepper chicken, and another, I think. The pineapple was sweet, like pineapple, but it also had some kind of pepper on it, maybe chili, and I didn't find that very pleasing. The pot sticker had too much ginger for my tastes, and the bourbon chicken tasted like formaldehyde. All in all I found no real winners in the lot. None of them were really bad, they were all fresh-cooked, but the sauces and seasonings just didn't score very high with my taste buds.
And yes, everything was fresh cooked, you could tell. That much turnover means the cooks must be machines, constantly turning out fresh batches of everything, especially the battered and fried proteins.
I noticed when I sat down that I didn't have any fried rice. Odd, I always get a little fried rice, must have missed it. I mentioned it to Angel and she looked at her own plate. "Hmm, I didn't see any." She said.
I picked through the meats, and had a little more of my noodles. I was nearly full, but I couldn't imagine going to a Chinese buffet and not having bananas in red sauce.
So I made another round.
No bananas in red sauce. This made me sad.

So instead I looked for the fried rice. Found it, it was labeled 'Veggie Fried Rice.' and it was No.2 pencil-yellow. I scooped some up anyhow, just a tasting. I then went back to the dessert line and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
My cube-neighbor, Doug,  the fastest human eater alive, had a big bag of home-made chocolate chip cookies on his desk all week. He offered them to everyone telling us to just come by and grab one. I didn't. I stared at those things, smelled them occasionally all week, but never caved to the temptation. However I did think about them often.
So when I saw chocolate chip cookies available on my cheat meal, yeah, I took one. It was overcooked, a little dry, not moist and gooey like those Doug had at work, but I still enjoyed it.
the rice was well cooked, but underwhelming in taste, it barely had any.
Summary:
When I polled the family, the answer I got was good to pretty good, but no rave reviews for anything in

particular. I liked the Mongolian noodles, but no more than other places I've had them. I never found a chicken variety that I would want again, but I hadn't tried them all.
The place was very well staffed, our drinks were refilled regularly and empty plates taken away quickly. I have to say the food was not really that much better than other places. But the variety was much greater. It is simply not possible to not find some things that are to your liking.
This place is indeed genius. Some towns absolutely love their huge buffets. Back when it was Ryan's, there was never, ever a shortage of customers. That place failed for other reasons, not for lack of patrons. It is easy to make fun of the piggish qualities of Midwestern, small town people. However, though certainly not true about all of them, or arguably most of them, there is a valid reason for that stereotype. Go to a place like Ryan's or Golden Corral, or Hibachi and yes indeedy, you'll certainly see quite a few people that end up getting photographed later at Walmart. You know what I'm talking about.
I've said it before, Americanized Chinese food is not health food. It is no better for you, in any measure, than pizza or cheeseburgers. So yes, you can overdo it at these all-you-can-eat places, very, very easily.
The tea was mediocre at best, I'll give it a plus one, simply because it wasn't old. A place like this probably has to be constantly making tea as well, so it doesn't have time to grow stale and bitter.
The price was downright dangerous.$10.39 per adult during dinner hours. For that low amount you can easily find enough of something you like and gorge yourself to the point of exploding. A bargain.
So yeah, the people behind this place are brilliant. They know the area, they know what people want and they know how to provide it. This definitely changes the game in Festus.
Oh by the way... HaPpY BiRtHdAy Suzi!!!!

______________________________

*'Mr. Cellophane' is a song from the musical 'Chicago.' A lament  about being a plain, ordinary man that no one ever seems to notice.